


Tidal Wave

by empress_ofbloodshed



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:41:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empress_ofbloodshed/pseuds/empress_ofbloodshed
Summary: Once Cassian taught her to surf, Nesta fell in love. The crash of waves beat the same tune as her heart. The sea flowed through her veins. Selected as a wild card for the 2019 Pipemasters, Nesta can think of nothing else. Every day she practices for the competition that could win her world-wide fame and recognition, riding waves as soon as the sun comes up.Cassian hadn’t expected the girl he fought with as a young boy to become one of the best surfers on the island. He had been slowly falling for her the past two years, until he was so hopelessly in love he was sure Nesta could tell. The pair compete with one another every day in whatever they do. He wants to travel the world and surf, sponsored by one of the big companies.With the competition drawing near, will Nesta and Cassian ride the dangerous waves of love or drown beneath them?
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

_Nesta gripped her mother’s hand tightly, refusing to let go. The strange boy was watching her. He grinned and giggled, waving at her._

_Gently freeing Nesta’s hand from her grip, her mother crouched to her daughter’s level. “Nesta, baby, this is Cassian.” She gestured to the boy waving, Cassian. “His family will be watching you while your dad and I go to the grocery store.”_

_“Mama, I don’t wanna go with him,” Nesta pouted, crossing her arms._

_Her mother sighed heavily. “Nesta, we’re going now. Just make an effort and be nice, you’ll have fun.”_

_“Fine. Bye, mama.”_

_Once their car pulled out and roared away, Nesta turned to Cassian with her arms crossed. She looked at the boy her parents had dropped her with, wondering why. His curly brown hair hung down to his cheeks, a few strands tucked behind his ear._

_A chicken squawked down the ways a little and Nesta jumped. Cassian laughed._

_Nesta glared at him. “You’re ugly and I don’t like you.”_

_Cassian drew back a bit, hazel eyes narrowing. “I don’t like you either. Do you surf?”_

_Confused by the total change of direction in their conversation, Nesta opened her mouth slightly. “What?”_

_“Do you surf?”_

_“I can swim but I don’t have a swimsuit with me.”_

_“Okay then. My mum will give you something. Come with me, we’re going to the beach.” Cassian smiled widely and took her hand, tugging her along behind him._

* * *

The sun struggled to rise over the ocean, pink streaking the sky like the careless strokes of Feyre’s paintbrush. Waves crested with white crashed against the beach, lapping at Nesta’s toes gently. Azriel predicted the waves for this weekend to be massive, ones that could make or break her.

Nesta loved a challenge.

A loose strand of hair danced in the sea breeze, having escaped from her braid. Cassian and his brothers weren’t up yet, so she had this stretch of beach to herself.

Board under her arm, Nesta grinned. She was ready to dance.

* * *

Cassian rolled over, blindly hitting his mattress until he found his phone and shut off the alarm. With a groan, he shoved his face into the pillow.

The door to his room opened and Azriel threw a hunk of board wax at Cassian’s head. “Get up. Nesta’s been out for hours. The waves are fucking amazing.”

“Then why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” Cassian shouted as Azriel left. A dark chuckle followed in his wake. “Fuck…you, Az,” Cassian grumbled as he stumbled out of bed and hopped around his room, trying to get dressed as quickly as possible. Nesta couldn’t have all the waves to herself, it was unfair. He had taught her to surf, years ago when she first moved here.

Skipping so many steps he practically fell down the stairs, Cassian grabbed his board and ran down to the beach. He slowed to a stop when he saw her, mouth falling open as he watched her.

Nesta’s surfing was like a dance. She courted the waves and they loved her. The tunnel was clear and perfect and so was she. Just before it closed, the white tip of her board shot through and she stood up, eyes meeting Cassian’s.

The sound of waves crashing against the beach faded and Cassian felt his cheeks warming, the blush spreading down to his chest. A slap on the back abruptly tore him out of his daze.

“You’re hopelessly in love, brother,” Rhys said with a cheeky grin, squealing and ducking as Cassian chased after him and tried to hit him. Azriel chuckled behind them, shaking his head silently at their antics.

Nesta had seen them and sat out in the water, waiting and spinning in circles. She and Cassian had a challenge for years. Whoever got there first in the mornings had first pick of the waves. She’d been undefeated for the last two years.

Paddling out to meet her, Cassian growled and playfully splashed water at her. Nesta scoffed in mock outrage, pushing him off his board. Breaking the surface, he grinned wickedly and yanked her into the water without a warning.

“Cassian!” Nesta shrieked when they came up to the surface and she could breathe. 

When she hit his shoulder, he wasn’t expecting it to hurt so much. Her preparation for the upcoming competition showed. Muscles stood out more and her formerly creamy white skin was tanned in some places and burnt in others. Salt spray curled the loose strands of hair framing her face. The blue-grey of her eyes was the same as the furious seas during a storm.

“I hate you. I hope you spectacularly fail at the competition.” Nesta spat, glaring, her eyes razor-sharp daggers.

Cassian grinned and blew her a kiss. “I can’t do anything but spectacular when I know you’re standing on the shore hoping to watch me make a fool of myself. A kiss for good luck, sweetheart?”

Nesta snarled, “Kiss my ass, Cassian.”

And with that, she paddled hard to catch the coming wave, leaving Cassian sitting dumbly in the water staring after her. The manner in which she surfed was a work of art. Waves swelled and crested in slow motion as she rose before her board dropped beneath the wave and into the tunnel.

Or so he thought.

* * *

“Kiss my ass,” Nesta snarled before paddling to catch the coming wave. His gaze followed her, she knew. It was a strange feeling, but it made her all the more determined to show off.

The wave crested and she dropped to catch the entrance to the tunnel. Standing up, she let her fingertips brush the tunnel wall, water flowing and falling thunderously in her wake.

Without a warning, the great wave of water crashed onto her head and sent her down. Caught under the wave, Nesta couldn’t surface to breathe. Growing more frantic by the second as she lost air, she tried to swim for the surface.

She saw the sunlight streaming through the foam left by the previous wave. She saw the shadow of the coming wave, screaming until salt water burned her throat.

 _Air_ , she needed air.

But she was caught on something.

Black began to cloud the corners of her vision. 

_I need to breathe. I need air._

Nesta tore and clawed at the velcro strap encircling her ankle. Her board and the cord were caught on the rocks below. It wouldn’t detach, being pulled so hard in two different directions.

 _Please_ , she cried. _Please. I don’t want to drown._

Whatever merciful lady of the sea there was must have heard her, for the strap around her ankle finally came loose.

Nesta broke the surface just as another wave crashed down on her, sending her tumbling back into the depths. Hitting her head off a rock, she blacked out for seconds that seemed like an eternity.

Water filled her lungs and Nesta kicked her legs furiously, lungs crying out for air as she swam to the surface.

Breaking the surface and coughing up water, Nesta could breathe once again. Taking a few deep breaths, she looked around for her board but there was nothing but seafoam. Water dripped down her face, stinging her eyes and she swiped a hand across to dry them somewhat, her hand coming away red with blood. Saltwater stung the cut on her forehead from the rock and she groaned, gritting her teeth.

Nesta swam for shore, crawling up far enough on the sand to collapse before the beach swam and there was nothing but darkness.

* * *

Cassian watched the roiling ocean sharply, waiting for Nesta to glide gracefully from the wave and paddle back to them. She didn’t.

“It’s been too long,” Cassian murmured.

“What’d you say, Cass?” Rhys questioned.

“It’s been too long. She should be back by now.”

“Shit.”

“I’m going to look for her.”

“Cassian!”

He didn’t hear the rest of what Rhys yelled, the pounding in his ears drowning out everything but the frantic staccato beat of his racing heart. Nesta had been gone for too long. They should’ve been able to see her come out of the wave.

The black swirls of her board stood out against the blue and white of the seafoam, Nesta’s board gently bobbing on the sea. Swiveling his head, Cassian looked for a head of brown hair in the white. There wasn’t one.

_Shit._

_Nesta, I love you. Please don’t be gone now. I promised you trophies and all the time in the world years ago. I need to fulfill that promise. Please, Nes. Please be alive._

Hot tears streamed down his cheeks at the thought that the love of his life could be gone forever. He would never see her stormy blue-grey eyes glare at him again. He would never smell her jasmine perfume as she walked past. He would never get to surf with her. Never get to tell her he loved her. Never hear her say it back.

 _Look to shore,_ a little voice in his heart whispered.

There she was. Nesta crawled up onto the sand before collapsing.

Cassian choked, furiously paddling toward shore, dragging her board behind him. Sliding off in the shallows, he removed the ankle tethers and ran up onto the beach, dropping their boards out of the hungry teeth of the surf.

Dropping to his knees, Cassian cradled Nesta in his arms, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. There was so much blood on the sand. He didn’t know where it came from.

“Nesta, please. IーI can’t lose you. I’m so hopelessly in love with you I don’t know how to live without you. I love you, Nesta,” Cassian whispered into her hair.

She was breathing fine, no water in her lungsーhe hoped. It felt like a lifetime before Rhys and Azriel rushed up onto the sand, Azriel pushing Cassian out of the way. He was in a daze, not sure if this was real or a horrible nightmare. He hoped it was the latter so he could wake up.

Azriel, training to be a surf medic, checked her pulse and laid his head on her chest to hear her breathing. Pulling up one eyelid, he kept a straight face, more for Cassian than himself. Inspecting the cut on her forehead, he grimaced.

“Please, Az. I need to know,” Cassian ground out. “Is sheー”

Azriel sat back in the sand, a heavy sigh escaping him. “She’s breathing fine. It doesn’t sound like there’s any water in her lungs. I think she hit her head on a rock and that’s where all the blood is coming from. But she’s just blacked out and she should wake up shortly.”

Cassian’s body sagged, a heavy breath he didn’t know he had been keeping escaping. “Thank the gods,” he murmured, voice hoarse from crying.

Azriel stood, brushing sand off his swimsuit and dragging a hand through his hair. “I think we’re done for the day. Cassian, are you up to carrying her back to the house? If you’re not, Rhys or I can take her. I want to stitch and bandage her cut. Plus I want to make sure she wakes up okay and hasn’t injured anything else.”

“I’m fine,” Cassian snarled. He gently picked Nesta up off the sand, her head falling against his shoulder and her body limp. He hated it, how it seemed like there was no life in her. “Sweetheart, please wake up,” he pleaded.

Once past the stairs and the threshold of the house the three brothers in all but blood shared, Cassian headed to his room, setting Nesta down on his bed. Azriel burst in with his med kit, stitching and bandaging Nesta’s head wound. 

“She’ll be fine, Cass. She’s stronger than you know. Now try to relax, I’ll tell Elain and Feyre.”

Cassian tugged the duvet up to cover her, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling up a chair and opening his book. Not before long, his head drooped forward onto the mattress and his eyes fluttered closed, book falling to the floor, forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Cassian taught her to surf, Nesta fell in love. The crash of waves beat the same tune as her heart. The sea flowed through her veins. Selected as a wild card for the 2019 Pipemasters, Nesta can think of nothing else. Every day she practices for the competition that could win her world-wide fame and recognition, riding waves as soon as the sun comes up.
> 
> Cassian hadn’t expected the girl he fought with as a young boy to become one of the best surfers on the island. He had been slowly falling for her the past two years, until he was so hopelessly in love he was sure Nesta could tell. The pair compete with one another every day in whatever they do. He wants to travel the world and surf, sponsored by one of the big companies.
> 
> With the competition drawing near, will Nesta and Cassian ride the dangerous waves of love or drown beneath them?

_Cassian offered Nesta some weird pink, spiky fruit. She curled her lip up in disgust. “Here, try it,” he said with an eager boyish grin._

_“No.” Nesta crossed her arms._

_“Nessie,” he whined. “Pleeeeeeeeeease?”_

_Rolling her eyes, Nesta nodded. Cassian grinned and peeled the fruit, starting with the stem and then splitting the tough skin open. Juice dripping from his fingers, he handed it to her and peeled one for himself. He popped the entire white-fleshed fruit into his mouth. Nodding, he motioned for Nesta to do the same. “Be careful, there’s a seed inside.”_

_Tentatively, she copied him, biting down slowly until she found the seed at the center of the fruit. Juice ran down her chin as she tried to separate the sweet, fragrant fruit from its oblong pit. It reminded her of eating a cherry, but more delicate._

_It was amazing._

_“I want another one.”_

_Cassian giggled, handing her another one and one more and just one more until the entire bag was empty and they lay on the beach, stomachs near to bursting._

_Nesta groaned. “I feel sick.”_

_A groan was Cassian’s only reply that he felt just as sick as her._

_“What were those, by the way? I think I’m in love.”_

_“Lychees.”_

* * *

The absolute last thing in the world Azriel wanted to do was tell Elain her older sister was injured. In a freak surfing incident, nonetheless.

Elain was the sweetest and most gentle of the Archeron sisters. She loved her little window gardens and plants and even stayed up all day and night on the beach to help baby sea turtles make their way to the ocean safely.

Azriel wished he didn’t have to tell her, but Elain deserved to know. He gently knocked on the door to her and her sisters’ house, knowing that she would be watering her flowers right about now. The windows were open and he couldn’t help but hear Elain singing. Azriel let himself in, his cheeks flushed with color.

Walking into the kitchen, he saw Elain. Her chestnut hair was pulled up into a messy bun, a flower and a pencil casually stuck in it, as if she had nowhere else to put them. She danced to the music playing through her headphones, coffee brewing in the machine. When she turned around and saw him standing in the doorway, she shrieked.

“Azzy!” Elain ran to give him a hug and he inhaled the intoxicating drug that was her smell of lilac soap and lavender-citrus perfume. Stepping back to pour herself, and him, a cup of coffee, Elain frowned. Azriel looked at his feet and ran a hand through his hair, tangled with salt water. In his rush to stitch up Nesta, he had forgotten to put a shirt on.

“Azriel,” Elain began, her brows furrowed in confusion. All he wanted to do was smooth the crease and calm her worries, but he couldn’t. He refused to meet her eyes. “Why are you back so early? Has something happened?”

“You might want to sit down,” was all Azriel said, his voice a murmur.

Instead, Elain’s hands landed on either side of his face, forcing him to meet her gaze. The green and gold flecks in the brown of her eyes were beautiful, the last traces of summer before autumn finally set in.

“Look at me and tell me the truth,” she commanded.

Azriel’s shoulders sagged and he pulled Elain in for a tight hug. “I didn’t want to tell you, but something happenedーwe don’t know whatーand Nesta hit her head off a rock and blacked out.” Before she could say a word, he added, “I stitched her up and she’s asleep now in Cassian’s room. She should be fine.”

Elain pulled back and glared. “I want to see her.”

Wincing, Azriel replied, “When she wakes up.”

“Azriel, please.”

“Elainー”

“I just want to see my sister and make sure she’s okay!”

“You should tell Feyre.”

“Fine. When Nesta wakes up, you will let me see her.”

Azriel nodded in defeat, hardly noticing as Elain took his hand and pulled him to the couch, sitting him down and handing him a cup of steaming coffee, black with a dash of milk and two sugar cubesーjust how he liked it. Elain sat herself down next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Elain asked softly. Azriel turned to look at her, pressed a kiss to her hair and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Then he began.

* * *

Nesta was drowning. She screamed, air bubbles escaping and floating to the surface as they danced. Sunlight became harder and harder to see as she was pulled deeper and deeper. Seaweed wrapped her ankles and legs in a suffocating grip, preventing her from kicking. She heard her name screamed and saw Cassian frantically swimming down to reach her. Every time his fingers nearly brushed hers, she was pulled downward harshly. Her head was yanked back, her skull hitting off a rock before the world blacked out.

Nesta shot up, chest heaving. She could breathe, she wasn’t drowning.

Afternoon sunlight spilled across the duvet and splayed across the walls. Trophies filled shelves and a collection of medals hung from a nail drilled into the wall. Printouts of photos taken on someones phone were pinned to a bulletin board. Nesta saw herself as a child in a polaroid, frowning as Cassian had his arms thrown around her, grinning. There was a selfie taken by Cassian with Rhys and Azriel sticking their tongues out. A picture of Cassian and his mum hung framed on the wall next to a necklace of hers.

This wasn’t Nesta’s room, this was Cassian’s.

She was laying in his bed, wearing one of his shirts. Her wetsuit was nowhere to be found, but she was still wearing her swimsuit.

Blood, she remembered blood. Cautiously, she ran her fingers along her forehead until they hit gauze, taped on securely. Nesta pushed a little bit until she found where it hurt the most and groaned, stars dancing in her vision.

“Hey Nes, are you feeling okay?”

Nesta’s heart skipped three beats before thunderously beating in her chest and she struggled to catch her breath.

“Did I scare you? I’m so sorry,” Cassian apologized, taking one of her hands in his and gently rubbing his thumbs in soothing circles.

“My head hurts but I think I’m fine,” Nesta said, watching to see Cassian’s reaction. He didn’t say anything, just kept massaging her hand. “Um, whatーwhat happened after I blacked out?”

Cassian looked up and met her gaze, then told her. Nesta listened, trying to remember what happened in the tunnel. She couldn’t. When he finished, Nesta pushed back the duvet and stood. She wobbled, but stood nonetheless. Cassian’s hands landed on her waist, steadying her if she needed it.

Balance regained, Nesta strode to his dresser and opened drawers until she found black boxers and a pair of blue joggers. Tossing them both on the bed, she untied the strings to the top of her bikini and tugged it off, all without removing herーCassian’sーshirt. She repeated what she did with her bikini bottoms, trading them for his clothing. With a few twists and a knot, she shortened his shirt until it bared her stomach. She rolled the sleeves so they didn’t hang to her elbows, then unbraided her hair and dragged her fingers through it. It was tangled with dried salt and needed a good wash.

Nesta ignored Cassian’s openmouthed stare, instead gathering her still-damp bikini and hanging it out to dry on his little balcony. As much as she hated to admit, she was almost as familiar with Cassian’s room as her own, considering they spent hours in here as children watching old surfing tapes and playing games. The gaming setup was still there, the little box tv and ancient x-box replaced with a large flatscreen and a new PS4. She saw the case for WSL 18 and grinned to herself.

“Hey, Cass, you got any food? I’m starving. Hello? Anyone home?” Nesta snapped her fingers in his face before he blinked and nodded. It was almost a courtesy that she let him lead them to the kitchen. The walls were a vibrant blue adorned with cheery yellow flowers. The cabinets were a crisp, spotless white but the message in permanent marker from Cassian had never been removed. It read, _Cassian is better than Nesta._

Cassian opened the fridge, pulling out a bag of fresh lychees from the farmers market. He tossed one to Nesta with a smirk, knowing she would eat the entire bag if she could. Ticking off a list on his fingers, he told her what there was to eat: “There’s pineapple, mango, bananas, tomatoes, jicama, carrots, and uh … that’s all the fresh stuff I can think of right now. I can grill some fish but if you’re really hungry I could make you grilled cheese with salted tomatoes.”

His grilled cheeses were legendary and Nesta would never pass up the opportunity for one, not that she would tell him that. Her stomach rumbled loudly and Cassian laughed.

“I guess grilled cheese it is,” he grinned and Nesta rolled her eyes, but she was nibbling on her lip to hide her smile. Cassian handed her a mango and a knife, his eyes dropping to her lips before he blushed a scarlet red. “I deserve some mango for saving your life this morning, if you would be so kind, sweetheart.”

Nesta scoffed. “I saved myself, so the mango should be mine.”

“I carried you up to my room.”

“And I managed to swim to shore before passing out.”

“Would you two please stop bickering like children? I deserve the mango, since I was the one to stitch Nesta’s head up,” Azriel broke in, leaving both of them glaring at him. He raised both of his hands, backing away in surrender. “Or you can keep fighting over it.”

Elain pushed past Azriel and barrelled into Nesta, arms wrapping tight around her. Nesta stumbled back a couple of steps, squeezing Elain tightly.

“I heard what happened,” Elain murmured. “Are you okay?”

Nesta rubbed Elain’s back. “Hey, look at me. I’m fine. A little worse for wear,” she gave her younger sister a quick smile, “but I’m fine.”

The two sisters released each other, Nesta beginning to slice the mango, brushing away a loose strand of hair with the back of her hand sticky with mango juice.

“Okay, Nesta. But you’re not allowed to go surfing in the mornings without Cassian anymore.”

“Since when did you become my mother?”

“Please, Nesta. I was terrified this morning.”

“Just for you, Elain, I’ll do it.”

* * *

Cassian hadn’t been informed of this and he looked to Azriel, who looked just as confused. Elain’s idea was smart, but Cassian knew Nesta would leave without him if she could. She didn’t like him watching her until she was ready to show off.

The mango sat in a bowl, more pieces being added as Nesta sliced it. But he was hungry.

So Cassian stole a piece of mango from Nesta’s hand. He knew she would retaliate in some way, he just didn’t expect her to stick her sticky hand in the center of his back, still bare considering she was wearing his shirt. Shrieking, he grabbed the washcloth drying from doing this morning’s dishes, spinning around and trying to scrub it off. Somehow, that witch had managed to get it just where he couldn’t reach.

Azriel and Elain stood in the entryway, giggling. Nesta threw her head back and laughed until Cassian threw the washcloth at her and it hit her square in the face.

Her laugh vanished in an instant and she glared, promising him death in her eyes.

 _Uh-oh_. Cassian grinned sheepishly, offering her a lychee. The death glare didn’t ease up. _Run,_ his brain whispered.

Cassian ran around Nesta, pushing past Azriel roughly and sprinting down the hallway. Glancing back, he saw Nesta chasing him. He grabbed the doorway to his room and spun in, back pressed against the wall, heart thundering in his heaving chest.

Nesta found him, raising one eyebrow and rolling her eyes. “You’re a dumbass, Cass.”

With a grin, Cassian replied, “I know, sweetheart.” He didn’t give her time to try to escape, he just lifted her over his shoulder and ran out of his room, down the stairs to the ground, and to the beach. Nesta screamed at him to put her down the entire time.

Once on the beach, he put Nesta down, leaving his hands on her hips. She slid her hands into his loose hair and Cassian’s breath caught. Involuntarily, he licked his lips and found Nesta watching him. Heat flooded his cheeks, color spreading down to his chest.

Nesta met his gaze, knotting her hands in his hair and pulling his head down until their breath mingled. “Kiss me,” she commanded.

“What?” Cassian flushed an even deeper color of red, grip tightening on her waist just the smallest bit.

“Kiss me, you dumb brute.”

Cassian wanted to kiss Nesta more than anything in the world, but he also didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship. Even though he didn’t think that mattered now. 

Blinking and looking down, he refused to meet her stormy eyes. “Nesta, sweetheart, IーI don’t think you’re in the right miー”

She surged onto her tiptoes, pressing her lips to his. Cassian stumbled back a step, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

When Nesta pulled back, she kissed his cheek softly, pulling herself out of his arms and walking to stand with her toes in the surf. Cassian followed her, heart dragged on leash behind her.

Crossing her arms over her stomach, Nesta stared at the horizon. “This morningーalmost drowningーmade me realise that … that, well, I’mー”

A high-pitched feminine voice cut Nesta off. “Baby! I’m back from the mainland. Rhys told me to look for you down on the beach because you weren’t at the house andー”

“Sara, shut the fuck up and leave,” Cassian snarled.

Four years ago, he and Sara started dating. They were happy. Well, at least until she started getting possessive. It was nice to know nothing changed. Three years ago, they broke up. It was messy and nasty. Sara went off to college on the east coast to get away. Cassian thought she was gone for good, but apparently not.

“We broke up three years ago. I don’t want to hear whatever bullshit you have to say, okay? Now leave.” He pointed toward the road, glaring at his ex until she turned tail and fled, the sound of sobbing trailing in her wake.

He turned back to reach for Nesta, but she wasn’t there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Cassian taught her to surf, Nesta fell in love. The crash of waves beat the same tune as her heart. The sea flowed through her veins. Selected as a wild card for the 2019 Pipemasters, Nesta can think of nothing else. Every day she practices for the competition that could win her world-wide fame and recognition, riding waves as soon as the sun comes up.
> 
> Cassian hadn’t expected the girl he fought with as a young boy to become one of the best surfers on the island. He had been slowly falling for her the past two years, until he was so hopelessly in love he was sure Nesta could tell. The pair compete with one another every day in whatever they do. He wants to travel the world and surf, sponsored by one of the big companies.
> 
> With the competition drawing near, will Nesta and Cassian ride the dangerous waves of love or drown beneath them?

_Cassian and Nesta were watching_ The Great Gatsby _late one night in his room when they were both sixteen. About halfway through the movie, Cassian had to use the bathroom. He slid from his bed, almost out the door when Nesta spoke,_

_“Hey, Cass, can you get me some water? Thanks,” Nesta asked sleepily, burrowing deeper into the nest of pillows she had created._

_Cassian nodded, returning a few minutes later with a glass of cold water for Nesta. She was dozing, hand draped over the edge of his bed. Sitting down carefully and making sure not to spill her water, Cassian gently shook her shoulder._

_“Nessie, wake up. I’ve got your water.”_

_Nesta grumbled but sat up, rubbing her eyes. She took the glass from him and drank half of it before setting it on his nightstand. Then she burrowed back into her nest, waiting until Cassian had made himself comfortable before pressing play._

_There was a lot of rustling of pillows in the next minute but it was so dark Cassian couldn’t see what Nesta was doing, even with the light from the screen. Within fifteen minutes, Nesta’s breathing was deep and even. Somehow she managed to curl herself into his side, her head resting on his shoulder._

_Smiling to himself, Cassian wrapped an arm around her and turned the movie off, falling asleep like that. He woke up the next morning with Nesta in his arms, her face smushed into his chest._

* * *

Crossing her arms over her stomach, Nesta stared at the horizon. She had realized when she woke up that Cassian had always been there for her and always would be. And she had been falling for him for years.

“This morningーalmost drowningーmade me realise that … that, well, I’mー”

A high-pitched feminine voice cut Nesta off. “Baby! I’m back from the mainland. Rhys told me to look for you down on the beach because you weren’t at the house andー”

Sara. Cassian’s obnoxious ex. She was his first love, his first girlfriend, his first everything. Nesta hated her guts.

Nesta didn’t stay to hear what Cassian told her, what he did. She just ran. Sand and surf stretched for miles, but even with tears streaming down her cheeks and blurring her vision, her feet knew where to go. They took her to the cove that Cassian had found one day, bringing her there when they wanted to get away from everything.

The surf lapped gently at the entrance and Nesta splashed through, not caring that she was getting his pants wet. Falling onto the sand back a ways into the darkness, Nesta clutched her knees and sobbed.

She was so hopelessly in love with Cassian. And had been for a long time.

Then it dawned on her. Pipemasters was three weeks away. She didn’t have time to cry over a boy.

_Surfing is the love of your life, remember? You live for the drop, the thrill of chasing danger._

Nesta sniffled, untying his shirt and using the hem to dry her tears. She took a deep breath, accidentally breathing in Cassian’s scent of sandalwood and brine. Tears burned her eyes, cascading down her cheeks.

He should be here to crack a joke and make her laugh through her tears. He should be here to pull her into his arms and kiss the top of her head, to tell her it was okay. He should be here.

Oh shit. She was well and truly fucked.

Nesta choked out a laugh, tears streaming down her face. She should’ve just told him instead of running. Too late now.

* * *

Cassian panicked. He couldn’t have lost Nesta already. He should’ve ignored Sara; he knew how much Nesta couldn’t stand her.

Scanning the beach, Cassian saw no trace of Nesta. Waves crashed against the beach as they always did. There was nothing unusual about it. 

He thought of the places she would go and it dawned on himーthe cove. The little cove he had discovered sixteen years ago where he and Nesta hid during hide-and-seek with their siblings. It was the place Nesta ran to when her mother died, so it seemed the most logical that she would run there now.

Cassian broke into a run down the beach towards the little cove.

When he arrived, he could hear sobbing emanating from darkness.

_Nesta._

She was there. Cassian’s heart ached because he had rarely, if ever, seen or heard Nesta cry. The only other time he could remember was when her mother died. And yet, she was inside, sobbing her heart out.

Splashing through the entrance, he saw Nesta hugging her knees back in the gloom. She glanced up when he came in, but didn’t move to greet him. Her hand lifted to swipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Cassian inched closer, unsure if he would scare her. The last thing he wanted was to tread too close and snap the fragile tether between them. Easing himself down next to her, he awkwardly stretched one arm out behind her to pull her in close to him then retracted it.

“Hey, Nes,” Cassian murmured softly. “I’m here for you.”

There was a pregnant pause in which he wondered if he should’ve said more, or better yet, said nothing.

Nesta flung herself into his arms unexpectedly, knocking Cassian onto his back. Her nose was less than an inch from his, their chests heaving and breathing so loud it echoed in the little cove. His chest rumbled with a soft chuckle, arms wrapping tightly around Nesta.

Dragging her finger along his collarbone, Nesta traced the tattoos on his bare chest with her fingers, refusing to meet his eyes. Her voice was soft, hesitant. “Cassian, about earlierー”

He pressed a finger to her heavenly-soft lips, stopping her in her tracks. “Sweetheart, did you mean what you said earlier? When you told me to kiss you?”

A heavy sigh escaped Nesta. Her head sank to rest on his chest over his heart, the beat a steady rhythm. A tear dripped from her cheek onto his chest and Cassian gently smoothed her hair, hoping it was calming.

“Cass, for you to kiss me, it’s all I’ve wanted for … for years. I don’t know when it started, but it’s unbearable now. So, please, Cassian. Don’t kiss me unless you’re going to stay. I don’t want my heart broken.”

Nesta rushed through the last two sentences, a broken sob escaping her. Cassian unwrapped one arm and threaded his fingers through hers, bringing their intertwined hands to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles.

“I would never break your heart, Nesta. I’ve fallen so hard for you, I keep drowning, imagining kissing you. And what would come after.” Her body tensed up and she tried to pull her hand from his. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise.”

“I want to go home. Take me home please.”

So he did. And Nesta wouldn’t look at him the entire time, although halfway there she threaded her fingers through his and refused to let go. The silence between them was heavy like the air when rain threatened.

* * *

Back at their houses, Cassian returned her swimsuit and walked her up the stairs to where her sisters were anxiously waiting. Elain thanked him, the second time today, mouthing her expectations to him as she led Nesta inside. The oldest Archeron sister looked back his way one last time before the screen door slammed shut, the emptiness in her features a knife driving deep into his gut. 

Cassian tried to ignore the sickening feeling in his stomach as the day wore on. The balcony of his room opened up a view straight across the street to Nesta’s room. He was laying in bed playing Call of Duty when he needed to stretch, so he strolled out onto the balcony, eyes unconsciously finding the empty balcony across the street. It seemed as if fate had blessed him, because when the door slid open and Nesta stepped out and the fading sunlight lit up her skin, she glowed. Dressed in an oversized cornflower blue shirt and black linen shorts, she hung up the towel on the drying rack, hair still damp and hanging loose down her back. It had yet to be brushed out, tangled in a way where he would love to run his hands through it. And knot his fingers in it as sheー

No. He couldn’t be thinking like that.

Even though those kind of thoughts haunted his days and nights. The things he could do to her. The ways he could make her scream his name.

By the time he corralled his runaway thoughts, it was too late. The damage had already been done. Cassian groaned, heading back to his bed to rejoin his campaign. Throwing a pillow over the evidence, he tried to think of the ocean. Waves rose and fell in a steady rhythm. Think of anything but Nesta. She was a blessing sent from the goddess of the sea, meant to curse every moment he couldn’t be with her.

* * *

After Elain finally left and stopped hovering over Nesta like she would get hurt again, Nesta deemed it time for a shower. The stream of hot water over her head and shoulders felt absolutely blissful. Scrubbing the dried salt from her scalp felt amazing, especially in combination with the hot water and her playlist specifically curated by her for her showers.

The empty feeling from the cove swirled down the drain along with shampoo suds. 

After slipping into her favorite shirt and a pair of linen shorts, Nesta stepped outside into the sticky autumn evening, her hair curling immediately. Hanging up her towel alongside her swimsuit on the drying rack, she couldn’t help but notice Cassian from the corner of her eye.

His forearms rested on the railing, hair pulled loosely back so that wisps framed his face. It was too far of a distance to make out his features perfectly, but Nesta knew those swirling black tattoos lining his chest, shoulders and arms better than she knew her own name. She had spent too many years staring when he wasn’t looking, imagining the way her fingers would trace them before sliding up into his hair and pulling his lips to hers.

Well, part of that happened earlier, but it wasn’t how she had wanted it to go. The romantic in her wanted it to be well, romantic.

He was supposed to confess his feelings for her, she would kiss him, it would be magical then they would go back to his room and the rest is self-explanatory. Nesta shook her head, pulling herself out of her stupid daydream before heading back inside and falling onto her bed.

She clutched a pillow to her chest, grinning stupidly. _I would never break your heart, Nesta. I’ve fallen so hard for you, I keep drowning, imagining kissing you. And what would come after._

But they _had_ kissed. And it was amazing.

Anyhow, Nesta would take what she could get.

Ignoring the warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach, Nesta instead opened her laptop and Disney+, opting to watch the original Lion King. Halfway through the movie, her phone buzzed with a text from Cassian: _Sweetheart you’re watching the lion king without me? Rude._

Rolling her eyes, she quickly replied to him. **Get off my account you bastard. I’m the one paying for it.**

_Then I’ll just come over and watch it with you._

**No.**

_Why?_

**Because I need some time away from your insufferable attitude.**

_Fair enough. You need time to dream about me and my good looks_. 

**I hate you, I really do.**

_I’m sure you do. You hate me so much you want to kiss me._

Nesta chose not to further inflate his ego with a reply, instead ignoring him and settling into bed. Three hours later, her phone’s bedtime alarm went off but Nesta was already passed out cold. Had been for the past hour, in fact.

Elain came in to check on her and giggled, snapping a quick picture for Feyre before plugging in Nesta’s phone and laptop, tucking her in, and turning off the lights.

* * *

Evening walks on the beach were a ritual of Elain’s, especially on cloudless nights like this. The stars twinkled, the sliver of a moon reflecting off the black ocean. Sand shifted under her bare feet with every step, the lap of waves on the shore a comforting background rhythm.

She felt him before he announced his presence by slipping his arms around her waist, gently brushing her hair to one side then pressing his lips to her neck.

“Azriel.” His name was a breathless whisper from her lips as his fingers ever so softly dragged the strap of her lavender bralette down her shoulder. His heavenly soft lips followed his fingers, teeth gently scraping, just enough to make her breathing catch, but not hard enough to bruise. Although she would love to mark him and he her, too many questions would be raised, ones she wasn’t quite ready to answer.

“Elain, my flower.” Azriel’s lips brushed her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. “I want you. I need you. On the sand, in the surf, I don’t care. I need you on top of me. I need to be inside you.”

Elain turned in his arms, standing on her tiptoes to capture his lips in a kiss and tug on his bottom lip with her teeth. With her free hand, she slid it up under his tee and down the taut muscles of his stomach until her hand was pressed up against him. He was already rock hard, his breathing catching as her hand pressed harder.

With a growl, Azriel roughly pulled her hand away and quickly tugged her flush against him until their noses were touching. Even in the poor moonlight, Elain could see his pupils blown out, his hunger crying out loud and clear.

“Az, it’s an open beach. Anyone could see us.”

“I don’t care,” he growled, voice low and raspy. “Let them. El, I _need_ you.”

She knew she shouldn’t agree, that this was a bad idea, that anyone could see. But honestly, she didn’t care.

And when she kissed him, hands ripping at his shirt until it came off and they were both on the ground, she realised just how hungry she was. Azriel flipped them so she was straddling his waist, his hands gripping her waist almost tight enough that there would be marks later. Elain sank down onto him, biting her lip as he groaned, eyes closed. His hips lifted as she lowered hers, their fit so deep and perfect Elain moaned loudly, not realising what she had done until Azriel was grinning wickedly.

“Oh Elain. Don’t stop,” Azriel ordered her. “I’ll fuck you hard enough to have you hoarse by dawn.”

Elain blushed, color blooming in her chest. She loved when he got aggressive. Then Azriel hit just the right angle and her eyes rolled back in her head, crying out his name. His chuckle was dark, sending a rush of heat to her core and causing him to moan.

Azrielーfor lack of a better wordーfucked her on the beach three times, four in the surf, and once up against a tree. Elain was surprised he didn’t have to carry her home, seeing as how weak her legs were. The kiss he gave her before she went inside sent a rush of heat to pool in her stomach and she was tempted to risk it all and jump on him right then and there.

But she didn’t, instead going inside for the night and taking a quick shower to get sand out of places where there shouldn’t have been sand.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Cassian taught her to surf, Nesta fell in love. The crash of waves beat the same tune as her heart. The sea flowed through her veins. Selected as a wild card for the 2019 Pipemasters, Nesta can think of nothing else. Every day she practices for the competition that could win her world-wide fame and recognition, riding waves as soon as the sun comes up.
> 
> Cassian hadn’t expected the girl he fought with as a young boy to become one of the best surfers on the island. He had been slowly falling for her the past two years, until he was so hopelessly in love he was sure Nesta could tell. The pair compete with one another every day in whatever they do. He wants to travel the world and surf, sponsored by one of the big companies.
> 
> With the competition drawing near, will Nesta and Cassian ride the dangerous waves of love or drown beneath them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warning: sexual harassment***

_Spin the Bottle was supposed to be simple fun. It was just a game, after all._

_Nesta did not agree._

_She was the last to take her turn and somehow no one had landed on her. Tomas’s spin almost stopped at her, but at the last second it shifted a few degrees to the right and pointed at Sara. And for that Nesta was extremely grateful._

_Tomas was a snake. A snake with daddy’s money. Everything he wanted, he got. Except for Nesta. Older than her by two years, she’d had a crush on him when she was younger. Now she saw just how vile he was._

_With a deft flick of her wrist, the empty glass Fanta bottle spun perfectly. Everyone watched it as it slowed before finally pausing right in front of … Cassian._

_It would._

_Nesta blushed hard, trying to avoid her friend’s eyes. Rhys whooped, patting Nesta on the shoulder and urging her forward. Looking up, she saw Cassian just as red as she was. Moving across the circle to sit down next to him, Nesta slid her hands up to cup his face._

_Cassian’s hazel eyes were flecked with green as he watched her, waiting for her to make the first move. Quickly, Nesta pressed her lips to his and pulled away._

_Their friends cheered and with a grin Cassian slung his arm around Nesta’s shoulder, where it stayed for the remainder of the party._

* * *

Nesta’s manager frowned at the band-aid on her forehead but didn’t comment, just barked his orders at the wait staff then stalked off to yell at someone else.

“Asshole,” she muttered under her breath while coiling her hair into a low chignon.

The job waitressing the restaurant at the Princeville Resort paid well, if one could deal with bitchy visitors that had too much money than they knew what to do with. The hotel was breathtaking the first time she stepped into the interior as a doe-eyed seventeen year old girl looking for a job. Now, it was just another part of her job.

Emerie lightly punched her left bicep, feigning pain, to which Nesta laughed. Em, a head shorter than Nesta, grinned and the two headed to the terrace where breakfast was currently being served.

An hour and a half later, Nesta dragged the back of her hand across her forehead and blew a loose strand of hair out of her face. The cart she was pushing to the kitchen was stacked to the brim with dirty dishes. Emerie caught up to her on the way, the silence between them comforting.

“Drinks after work today?” Emerie asked as they unloaded dishes for the dishwashers.

“I’d love to, but the waves are beautiful today,” Nesta replied, loading still-warm plates onto the cart to take back out. Grabbing a stack of cloth napkins, she handed them to her friend and they headed back out to the late morning rush.

“Nessie, you are no fun. It’s always ‘I’ve got to practice.” Emerie shook Nesta’s shoulders. “Let your hair down for a day, even just the once. Come have a drink with me and the boys after our shift.”

“How about you come over Friday night, you little alcoholic. We’ll have a bonfire on the beach and party till the sun comes up.”

“Deal. I can’tー”

“Nesta and Emerie! Get back to work or I’m docking pay!”

The women looked at one another, rolling their eyes before heading their separate ways. They brushed past one another during the remainder of their morning shift, but after lunch Emerie was moved to the pool bar.

Nesta knew something was off when she went to wait on one of the tables in her section. It was a group of five men, all dressed in khaki shorts and polo shirts except for the one at the head of the table. He wore a navy blue business suit and a pair of dark aviator sunglasses. When she arrived, he smirked and slid his sunglasses down his nose to look her up and down. His companions were silent.

“Good morning, gentlemen. My name is Nesta and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you started with some drinks?” She smiled and kept her voice pleasant (Feyre and Elain hated her customer-service voice), even though she wanted to be as far away from them as possible. Pen and notepad in hand, she jotted down their orders. 

“Hey darling, how much would I have to pay for you to be delivered to my room tonight?” the suited man asked with a knowing smirk. Nesta’s smile faltered for a second. “Baby, it’s a joke, relax.” His laughter sent chills down her spine and his companions nervously joined in.

“Excuse me, I’ll go place your orders.” Nesta practically ran away from them, hiding in the blind spot just behind the corner that lead to the kitchen. She pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed in and out until the nausea faded and was replaced with anger and disgust.

When she returned with their meals, she made sure the interaction was as short as politely possible. The man in the suit made sure his hand found the back of her thigh underneath her skirt as she set the tray of food on the folding stand.

“Excuse me, sir. Please remove your hand,” Nesta snarled through gritted teeth. He did without a complaint, to her relief. The other men at the table refused to meet her gaze.

As she was about to leave, mouth opening to tell them to enjoy their meal, the man grabbed her waist and yanked her into his lap. One hand hiked up her skirt and slid up the inside of her thigh while the other squeezed her breast.

“Oh no, little lady. I get what I want, whether I ask or not.” His voice was right in her ear and it took all of Nesta’s control not to take the knife from the table and give it a new home in his thigh. He groaned as he squeezed harder. “Just what I want. Big tits, small waist, firm ass.”

Nesta’s eyes met Cassian’s as he passed through the lobby on the way to the spa. He worked as a masseuse and brought home free products all the time, which she loved him for. But now she could see the rage build in him as he stormed over and slammed the glass doors open. The man’s grip on her only tightened as Cassian arrived with murder in his eyes.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to please remove your hands from my employee.” Cassian’s voice was deathly low, the threat eminent. Other waiters and waitresses watched in shock, even the other patrons.

The man laughed. “Jesus Christ, it’s just a joke. All fun and games right, doll?” His hands loosened the smallest bit but not enough for Nesta to free herself.

“Sir, you have five seconds to let her go. Five.

“Four.

“Three.”

Nesta’s chest tightened. That knife was really appealing right now.

“Two.

“One.”

The man shoved her up and away, so hard that Nesta tripped and fell to her knees. He spat on Cassian and threw his napkin on the table, chair screaming as it was violently shoved back. “Fucking assholes. Can’t let a man have a little fun.”

The next thing Nesta knew Cassian had the man up against the railing with his hands balled in the white shirt. The man’s face had gone ashen white and his laugh was nervous.

Cassian helped Nesta to her feet and led her away. Once they got so far away, the tears she had been holding back broke the surface. She could feel Cassian vibrating with anger as he pulled her in for a hug.

“I’m going to kill him. He shouldn’t haveーit’s just fucking insane, no one did anything. They just stood and watched. No, you know who I’m going to kill? Your manager. That bastard was nowhere to be found.”

“Cassian? Please stop talking,” Nesta murmured and he did so immediately. “I think I’m just gonna call Elain and have her come get me. I needーI need to leave.”

He didn’t say anything, just nodded and walked with her the rest of the way to the changing rooms, where he waited outside the door until she exited. Instead of going back to work, Cassian texted the spa manager and told her he would be taking a sick day. Nesta was silently so thankful for Cassian deciding to stay with her and take her home.

* * *

Cassian was thinking about how he would have to work double shifts next week in order to afford the tickets to take Nesta to New York City as he strolled through the lobby on his way to the spa. The last thing he was expecting to see was Nesta sitting in some man’s lap, her entire body tense and his hands in places they shouldn’t have been.

Even from two hundred feet away, he saw in her eyes she was pleading him to come and help. No one else had done a thing.

A fire inside him roared to life, anger breathing life into his steps. He slammed the glass doors to the terrace open, the large panes rattling. The sound startled all other diners in the restaurant. Stalking over to Nesta, all he wanted to do was pull her from the man’s grip and punch him. But he refrained, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to please remove your hands from my employee.” Cassian’s voice was deathly low, the threat eminent.

The man laughed. “Jesus Christ, it’s just a joke. All fun and games right, doll?”

Oh, it was one of these men. It really was difficult for Cassian to restrain himself. He hated this type of men. They had been brought up on daddy’s money and thought because of it, they owned the world.

“Sir, you have five seconds to let her go. Five.

“Four.

“Three.”

Cassian saw Nesta’s eyes flick to the knife on the table.

“Two.

“One.”

The man shoved her up and away, so hard that Nesta tripped and fell to her knees. He spat on Cassian and threw his napkin on the table, chair screaming as it was violently shoved back. “Fucking assholes. Can’t let a man have a little fun.”

Cassian’s vision went red and he dragged the man to the railing, pressing him into it hard. Fisting his hands in the white collared dress shirt, Cassian snarled at him. “Don’t ever touch another woman again like that without permission, you fucking prick. If I find out you assault any other staff at this hotel, you will be forcibly removed and never permitted to return to this hotel again. Now, I would love to shove you over this railing because it’s quite a long drop down, but just imagine the lawsuit.

“And you will never ever, ever lay your eyes or hands on Nesta ever again. Or I will make this seem like heaven compared to what I will do to you. Got it?”

The man’s face had gone ashen white and his laugh was nervous.

“Good. Now leave.”

Cassian gave him one last hard shove into the balcony and kneed him in the balls before helping Nesta up. She clutched at him like it was the end of the world and they were the last people left. Walking them away from the terrace and into the service corridor, Cassian thought of all the ways he could torture that man and make his death very slow and very, very painful. He was practically vibrating with anger.

A sniffle then a sob broke the silence. Pulling Nesta into his arms, Cassian held her as she cried.

“I’m going to kill him. He shouldn’t haveーit’s just fucking insane, no one did anything. They just stood and watched. No, you know who I’m going to kill? Your manager. That bastard was nowhere to be found.”

“Cassian? Please stop talking,” Nesta murmured and he did so immediately. “I think I’m just gonna call Elain and have her come get me. I needーI need to leave.”

He didn’t say anything, just nodded and walked with her the rest of the way to the changing rooms, where he waited outside the door until she exited. Instead of going back to work, Cassian texted his manager and told her he would be taking a sick day.

Nesta stuck to his side like glue as they both clocked out and walked to his truck. Her managerーthe pretentious assholeーsaw them and opened his mouth to yell but with one glare from Cassian he shut his mouth.

As he backed out of the parking lot, he felt Nesta tap his shoulder and whisper something. Her voice was so low he had trouble hearing her, but he guessed she asked if they could stop and get food on the way home. Squeezing her hand, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Nes, when we get home I’ll make you grilled cheese with my signature ribs and you can have all the ice cream you want,” Cassian promised her. “We can even watch _Crazy Rich Asians_ again, although I swear it’s like the fiftieth time you’ve watched that movie. Personally, I think I’m way hotter than Henry Golding.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her look down and her lips twitch into a faint smile.

“Now hook up the aux already and put down your window. It’s time to jam.”

* * *

Azriel heard Cassian’s music a long time before his truck actually pulled into the driveway. Checking his watch, he saw it was only eleven. His brother shouldn’t have been home this early.

When the front door opened and shut, Azriel slipped from his room like the cat Elain had and went to greet him. He wasn’t expecting to see Nesta with Cassian but with one glance and a slight shake of Cass’s head, Azriel didn’t ask.

Nesta only waved at him before heading in the directions of Cassian’s room. She padded across the hall to the bathroom, where the door clicked shut then he heard the sound of a bluetooth speaker connecting. A few seconds later, water ran and music blared.

“Cass, what happened that you’re both home?” Azriel figured now was a better time to ask. 

Cassian sighed, leaning back on the edge of the counter. “Some fucking prick harassed Nesta this morning so I called in sick to take her home.”

“Oh shit. But you need the money for her birthday present.”

His brother nodded. “I’ll figure it out, but right now Nesta needs me.”

Azriel agreed, helping Cassian prepare food so that when Nesta was done with her shower she could eat. The brothers worked in sync, one setting up the movie while the other finished plating the food. 

A door opened and Nesta walked into the kitchen in one of Rhys’s charcoal bath robes, braiding her hair. 

Cassian took her hand and spun her around. “Aha! You live! Now you must eat because I do actually have manners and I’m waiting for you to eat before I do and Nesta, I am starving.” Cassian pulled her along behind him to the couch, where Azriel was already sitting holding steaming plates.

Azriel’s stomach rumbled and he tried to become a part of the couch from embarrassment. His brother laughed and he couldn’t help but notice how Nesta’s face lit up at Cassian’s laugh. It had been forever ago that everyone noticed the two were basically dating.

_I swear the only people that don’t realise are those two._

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Nesta began, sitting down in Cassian’s spot on the couch. (If Azriel or Rhys did that, they got tackled, but then again, this was Nesta.) “Thanks for all the extra food though,” she finished as she stole Cassian’s plate from him.

Azriel stared in shock, debating between laughing or staying silent because this was a fight he did not want to get in the middle of.

To his surprise, Cassian just shrugged and sat down between him and Nesta. No fight, nothing. His brother must have been planning something. But nothing happened. They ate and watched Euphoria because Nesta changed her mind at the last minute.

At least until the second episode ended and Nesta got up to use the bathroom. When they heard the door shut, Cassian tugged at Azriel until he relented. Azriel laid down on his back on the couch then Cass sprawled himself over top, laying his head on his brothers chest and passing out cold within seconds.

He scrolled through Twitter until Nesta returned, wearing a white crewneck sweatshirt and a pair of Cassian’s forest green Adidas joggers. Her face appeared above Azriel’s and he sheepishly grinned.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “I can’t even with you two anymore. Have fun with your boyfriend, Az. I’m taking his truck and going to the gym after I stop at home to get changed.”

Azriel cringed at the boyfriend comment but didn’t move to stop her. It wasn’t like he was exactly able to anyway. Cassian was fucking heavy and Az’s legs were already asleep. He then proceeded to read some of his Stephen King novel before beginning to drift off.

* * *

Nesta crept into her and her sisters’ house, praying that Elain was still at work. Feyre was on the mainland at Cal Arts and wouldn’t be back until holiday break but Nesta had a feeling she would show up in time for Pipemasters.

Her only greeting was from Elain’s formerly-stray tabby named Fern who meowed at Nesta and trailed her until she was fed.

This morning had been a whole shitshow, one she would love to forget. Sure, male guests at the hotel had stared or catcalled her, but never something to this extent. She was just glad that Cassian happened to have been walking by because her asshole of a manager would’ve never done anything. It was possible to have removed herself from the situation but not without violence and she couldn’t risk the security of her job. The Princeville was strict with how they wanted their employees to act and wasn’t above firing them because of one little mistake.

Pulling Cassian’s sweatshirt over her head, Nesta tossed it onto her bed and grabbed her favorite blue Nike sports bra from her drawer, along with a pair of black shorts. Her favorite shirt to work out in was a plain green tee she had made some adjustments to with a pair of scissors, turning it into a loose racerback tank top.

Changed with water bottle and keys in hand, Nesta hurried back across the street to where Cassian’s truck was parked. It roared to life and she tore out of the driveway, tires skidding on the pavement. Once far enough away, she turned up the aux and blared some Post Maloneーbut not Circles because that song was so overplayed, even though it was goodーand some Bishop Briggs. His truck hummed with the bass of the songs and Nesta loved it.

The gym was practically deserted when she arrived but the Maori guy who ran the place greeted Nesta with a smile and a hug. He worked with the surfers on the island and helped them train. Traditional tattoos snaked up and down his arms and even stretched onto his chest but most times they were hidden under his tee.

“Nesta, my girl. It’s been too long. Gimme two minutes and I’ll write you up a work-out. Pipemasters are in three weeks, you excited?” Most people when they saw him out in public expected him to be loud and terrifying. And he could be at times. But a great portion of the time, he wasn’t.

“Thanks, Helion. And I mean yeah, who wouldn’t be? But I’m also scared. I’m gonna be competing against some of the best surfers in the world.”

“Honey, you weren’t picked as a wildcard at random.” Nesta looked away, at the various surfing medals and trophies on the walls. “Can you imagine it, Kauai’s own Nesta Archeron on the wall of fame?”

With a scoff, Nesta took the whiteboard from a grinning Helion and began her workout. Forty-five minutes later, she was tired and sore, ready to go home and shower and fall asleep. She thanked Helion on her way out and he threw an energy bar at her.

Checking her phone before she pulled out of the parking lot, she saw there were three missed calls from Cassian and seventeen texts. Nesta called Cassian, hearing it ring once before he picked up and immediately started grilling her.

_My truck better come back in one piece. If there is a single scratch on it, I will murder you._

“Gods, Cass. Your baby is fine. I’ll be back in half an hour.”

_You took my truck though. Without my permission._

“Dude! Maybe I’ll drive it into the surf before I get home.”

_Nesta Alessandra Archeron, you wouldn’t dare._

“Watch me.” And with that, she hung up. Although she could feel Cassian fuming and plotting her murder if she did end up purposely driving his truck into the ocean.

When she got home, Cassian stood in the driveway with his arms crossed. Hair pulled back into a messy bun, Nesta could see just how angry he was.

It was kinda hot, she couldn’t lie.

As soon as she turned off the engine, he stormed over. She didn’t even have time to get out before he opened the door, grabbed her by the waist, and threw her over his shoulder. Nesta shrieked and pounded on his back, yelling at him to put her down.

Cassian finally did put her down, but only once he had carried her across the street and up the stairs to her house. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, hearing Fern crying. The cat quickly appeared and rubbed herself against Nesta’s ankles, begging for food.

“Hey hey, you little gremlin, I already fed you,” Nesta cooed, crouching to scratch her chin. Fern mewed in disagreement.

When she stood and turned to face Cassian, he threw his arms around her and pulled her close. Nesta returned his hug, although confused.

His voice was thick with raw emotion. “Nes, you scared me. I woke up, expecting to find you on the chair or in my room but you weren’t there, andーand Az wasn’t awake yet. It was fucking terrifying. After the other day, I thought something happened andー”

Flashes of Nesta struggling for air and her ankle tether refusing to come loose drowned her. Her body stiffened and the world around her faded; she was back in the ocean, waves unrelenting as they slammed down on her. 

_Gasping for breath, she looked around for her board but there was nothing but seafoam. Water dripped down her face, stinging her eyes and she swiped a hand across to dry them somewhat, her hand coming away red with blood._

Her eyes burned. A single tear rolled down her cheek and Cassian gently wiped it away with his thumb.

“Cassian, IーIー”

“Nesta, don’t panic. You’re safe. I’m here with you. You’re _safe_.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Cassian taught her to surf, Nesta fell in love. The crash of waves beat the same tune as her heart. The sea flowed through her veins. Selected as a wild card for the 2019 Pipemasters, Nesta can think of nothing else. Every day she practices for the competition that could win her world-wide fame and recognition, riding waves as soon as the sun comes up.
> 
> Cassian hadn’t expected the girl he fought with as a young boy to become one of the best surfers on the island. He had been slowly falling for her the past two years, until he was so hopelessly in love he was sure Nesta could tell. The pair compete with one another every day in whatever they do. He wants to travel the world and surf, sponsored by one of the big companies.
> 
> With the competition drawing near, will Nesta and Cassian ride the dangerous waves of love or drown beneath them?

_Cassian hid behind the doorway that led to the ocean-facing deck. His mum and Nesta’s mum were chatting, sipping pineapple juice spiked with coconut rum. He had meant to ask if he, his brothers, Nesta, and Elain could go down to the beach and go crab-hunting._

_He didn’t want to barge into their conversation because that would be a definite no. So he sat and waited._

_“Mara, have you seen just how inseparable Nesta and Cassian are? They fight all the time but if you think about it, there’s never one without the other.”_

_His mother laughed. “You’re absolutely right. One day they’re going to grow up and give us adorable grandchildren we can spoil.”_

_“You think so?”_

_“No, my dear. I know so. Just like I know my son’s sitting inside listening to us. Oh, Cassie, come here, my boy.”_

_Cassian sheepishly walked out to his mother, who ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek. “Mama, can we go down to the beach?” he asked._

_She smiled. “Of course, my darling. Have fun and be back in time for dinner.”_

_“Thanks Mama!” Cassian grinned and bounded off, hearing his mother laugh then tell Nesta’s mother how their children would fall head over heels for one another._

* * *

Nesta couldn’t breathe. Her lungs were full of water and sunlight dancing on the surface taunted her. Screaming, she tried to swim for the surface but every time she got close enough to touch sunlight she was yanked back.

Black dots danced in her vision from lack of oxygen. Begging the goddess of the sea for mercy, she surged upward and the tether finally broke. Her head broke the surface and she coughed up water and took a deep breath of sweet, sweet air before something wrapped around her ankle and dragged her back into the depths of the ocean.

Nesta shot upward with a start, chills racing up and down her spine. Chest heaving, she looked around. It was her room. There was no water and she could breathe.

She heard a snore and looked over to see Cassian sprawled out on his stomach in her bed, hair fanned around his head and shirtless.

Oh. _Oh._

Yesterday after she panicked, he drew her a warm bath and sat with her, brushing out and braiding her hair. When she was done with her bath, they ordered take-out and ate it in her bed while watching _The Mandalorian_. And when the clock struck eleven, Cassian tried to go home but Nesta asked him to stay.

That’s how they ended up here, with Cassian shirtless in her bed.

Nesta laid back down, trying to steady her breathing while her fingers itched to trace his tattoos. He had always been ruggedly gorgeous, not that she would admit it. Especially with that little scar slicing through his left eyebrow. Now that he was asleep, he looked so peaceful.

She cringed when he snored and rolled over to his side. Except for that. His snoring was so loud and she had no idea how anyone slept through it.

Eyes heavy, Nesta dozed off to Cassian’s arms wrapping around her.

* * *

Cassian had texted Elain last night that was there with Nesta. Elain took that opportunity, knowing Nesta would be perfectly safe in Cassian’s hands, to show up at Azriel’s after work. He had opened the door, taken a quick glance to see if anyone else was around, then yanked her inside and kissed her against the front door.

“I missed you, El,” he whispered into her neck before kissing his way up the column of her throat and nibbling at her earlobe. Elain bit her lip and closed her eyes, feeling heat pool in her stomach.

“I liked the beach, but I want to know what it feels like to take you against the door,” Azriel rasped, his voice low. “Gods, I want to break my bed fucking you.”

Elain opened her eyes, seeing him staring at her like he was waiting for her to say something. She stepped out around Azriel and padded to the kitchen, shedding her blouse and pulling her hair up into a very messy bun. He followed on her heels and growled low in his throat when she pushed him against the counter and got on her knees before him.

Taking as much of him in her mouth as she could without gagging, Elain felt him fist his hands in her hair and lightly thrust his hips forward, driving himself farther down her throat. He moaned as she used her tongue and fingers to pleasure him until he shuddered as he came.

Elain made a show of swallowing as she rose to her feet with a smirk. Azriel growled, wrapping one hand around her throat and squeezing lightly as he spun her around and hiked up her skirt. Hand pressed flat against her center, he sucked on his tooth.

“Oh my flower, so wet already. I’m going to make you scream my name,” he murmured in her ear. Elain’s chest heaved as her breath caught and that second heartbeat began to pulse.

“Please,” Elain breathlessly whispered. “Azriel, please.”

His chuckle was dark, especially as he lifted her onto his hips and walked to his room and lay her on his bed. Taking her hands, he pinned them above her head and kissed a line from her chin to her navel. His grin was wicked as her breath caught and she squeezed her thighs together.

“Now, now, Elain, I don’t want to have to make you beg.” Obediently, she lifted her hips off the bed and Azriel tugged her skirt off, along with her panties. He had already been shirtless when she walked in, then he took off his pants. “Good girl.”

With a soft kiss to each of her inner thighs, Azriel pinned her legs down and lowered his head to her. His fingers curled and scraped, tongue moving in ways she had never known it could do.

His golden eyes found hers as she nearly reached her climax. Their stare was unbroken as he took her higher and higher, until his thumb finally landed on the spot she wanted it most and she fell with the crash of a mighty wave.

Finally, finally, Azriel slid inside her. He started out slow then picked up the pace as Elain urged him to, until his headboard was banging into the wall. She moaned loudly, crying out when Azriel’s teeth closed around her nipple. When they both came, Azriel practically collapsed onto her afterwards.

Elain’s voice was breathless. “Azriel, I want you to love me like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Challenge accepted, my flower.”

* * *

As sunlight streamed in through gauzy curtains, Azriel awoke to Elain’s fingers dancing along the tattoos flowing across his chest and shoulders his chest. He chuckled and she blushed. Gently he took her hand and threaded his fingers with hers, marveling at the soft calluses on her delicate skin compared to the unsightly scars of his.

Kissing her softly, he murmured he could make breakfast if she was hungry. Elain nodded her agreement and Azriel untangled himself from her to slip on his discarded joggers and head to the kitchen.

As eggs fried in a well-loved cast-iron skillet, Azriel’s mind drifted. The sex was … spectacular. Actually, spectacular failed to adequately describe it. But he wished so badly that he could hold Elain’s hand in public, kiss her in front of their family. He wished they didn’t need all this secrecy.

And he had a feeling Elain wanted it as well, she just wanted to wait until the time was right.

But Azriel had fallen in love with the sweet girl who was always up to her elbows in dirt a long, long time ago.

It broke his heart to have to keep from telling her how much he loved her every day. So he showed her through his actions, never speaking those life-changing three words, no matter how much he longed to.

Elain’s arms wrapped around him from behind and she pressed her lips to his spine. As a sudden chill made him shiver, he felt her lips shift into a smile on his bare back.

“Oh, snap peas. Azzy, will you come with me? I meant to go shopping after work yesterday but I need to get more cat food for Fern before she knaws off our legs,” Elain asked, her words muddy because her face was still smushed into his back.

Two taps on her palm meant yes, since he was currently flipping the eggs and couldn’t reply because he was so focused on flipping them and not breaking the yolks. She squeezed him tight once then danced off to her own melody, humming an upbeat song.

A smile lingered on Azriel’s lips long after Elain disappeared to root through the clothes she secretly kept in one of his drawers before showering. When she returned, hair wrapped in a towel and smelling of his cedarwood soap, it took all of his self control to not wrap her in his arms and never let her go. 

Elain practically dragged him through the store, empty basket dangling from his fingertips. Fern was spoiled rotten, eating grilled chicken for dinner three nights a week then wet cat food the other four nights. Her breakfast was just dry kibble, which Elain said there was plenty of back home.

After she wandered off to get yogurt, Azriel found her standing in front of the locally-made baby clothes. Her hand found his, squeezing tight.

“Az, I want one,” she told him, voice just above a whisper and thick with emotion. He squeezed her hand in reply.

Azriel knew about what had happened with Graysen. She was sixteen, he was seventeen. Elain had accidentally gotten pregnant and wanted to keep the baby but early during the second trimester she’d miscarried and doctors told her it was highly unlikely she would ever be able to carry her own child.

Highly unlikely, but not impossible.

“When’s the baby due?”

Both Elain and Azriel jumped, startled by an old woman who smiled kindly at them, waiting for an answer.

“Oh, we’re notーsorry, ma’am but we’re not together or expecting,” Azriel replied, his cheeks scarlet.

She made a noise of disagreement and shook her head, smiling to herself before striding off, yelling for her grandson.

When Azriel looked at Elain, he saw tears rolling down her cheeks. “Hey, Ellie, what’s wrong?” he questioned softly, pulling her into his arms.

Elain extricated herself from his arms and stood a few paces away, arms crossed. “You said we weren’t together. Do you not want to do this anymore? Because if you don’t, I understand. I think I’d rather walk home anyway.” She turned and began walking away, shoulders shaking with silent sobs, leaving Azriel to stand there awkwardly with the basket dangling from his fingertips as his brain processed her words far too slowly for his liking.

It felt like someone had taken a knife to his heart, twisted it then pulled it out before splashing salt water on it. The pain was like nothing he had ever felt before. His heart bled out while the love of his life walked away from him.

Speeding down roads on the way home, he finally found Elain walking alongside the road refusing to acknowledge him. Head held high, she just kept walking even as he slowed to a near crawl to keep pace with her.

“Ellie, please,” Azriel pleaded; she ignored him. 

Frustrated, he sped up and parked his car on the side of the road a ways ahead of Elain. Stepping out, he waited for her with his arms crossed. Then he uncrossed them, thinking he would give off an air of not caring and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

She only looked at him when he stepped directly in her path and used a finger to tilt her head up. Her eyes were puffy and still red from crying. “Please get out of my way, Azriel.”

“No. I’m sorry, Elain, but I can’t.”

“Why then, pray tell?”

“Because I didn’t mean what I said in the store! I didn’t want to lie to her, but it just slipped out. Please believe me, Ellie. Does this really mean nothing to you?”

Elain looked away, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. “You can’t believe that,” she said softly.

Azriel took her hands in his and when she didn’t automatically recoil, pulled her into his arms. Her reaction was instinctual, to wrap her arms around him and hold on.

“More than anything, I want to kiss you in front of our family. I want this need for secrecy to end. Elain, I want to be able to call you my girlfriend, not to pretend we’re nothing more than friends.

“Because we both know that’s a lie.” Azriel’s chest heaved up and down, his hands sliding up to cup Elain’s face. Her caramel gaze met his and he could see his answer in the depths. Tears threatened to fall and her chin quivered.

Elain stood on her tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to Azriel’s cheek before climbing into the passenger seat of his car. “Let’s go home, okay.”

Her fingers stayed tangled with his the entire way home.

* * *

Cassian couldn’t believe it. A weight pressed onto his chest, making it difficult to breathe and when he opened his eyes, Nesta was laying on top of him, dead asleep. She slept like the dead, literally. The only indication of life was the soft brushes of air across his collarbone.

Gently, in an attempt not to wake her, he slithered his way out from underneath her to go use the bathroom. When he returned, she was sitting up, hair beautifully messy and rubbing sleep from her eyes.

“Morning, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?” Cassian asked with an easy grin, tying his hair up with a hair tie he stole from her bathroom drawer.

Nesta just yawned.

He laughed. “Me too, Nessie.”

She flipped him off, flopping back down onto her bed with an exasperated sigh. Cassian fell onto the bed next to her, grinning wickedly. “So what do you wanna bet Azzy fucked your innocent little sister senseless last night?”

Elain and Azriel tried to hide what they did, but Cassian wasn’t stupid. He acted like he was, but he always knew.

With a very hard shove from Nesta, he fell off the bed. Laughing, he righted himself to find her glaring at him.

“Fuck you, Cass.”

“That can be arranged.” Cassian blew her a kiss. “So what do you want to do today? We can go surfing, even though it is kinda late, or we can just chill and be lazy today.”

Nesta mumbled a reply, which he didn’t understand any of. “I have to work at noon,” she repeated, her face going blank. She was looking at him but Cassian knew she wasn’t seeing him; she was back on the hotel balcony yesterday morning.

“Nesta. Nesta. _Nesta._ Look at me. You’re in your room and you’re safe. No one’s here but you and me. And Fern. He can’t hurt you.” Cassian didn’t know whether he should try to comfort her or if it would only drag her deeper into her memory.

Breathing heavily, she slid off the bed and into his open embrace, burrowing her head into his chest. Her chest heaved as she tried to slow her breathing and calm herself down.

“Cassian, IーI can’t do it, not today.” Her voice was so thick with raw pain it hurt him.

He rubbed her back, hearing her breathing gently slow down. “Then you don’t have to. We’ll fill out the form then go do something fun, okay?”

She nodded, sitting back and wiping her eyes, determination hardening her features. “Let’s get this over with.”

Cassian’s chest swelled with pride after Nesta filled out the form and sent it to corporate. She was much braver than most waitstaff at the hotel, male or female. Most of them didn’t report the hotel guests for fear of losing their jobs or ridicule. To report that man took a great deal of strength, more than he could ever have or hope for.

Nesta seemed more than content to pour herself a glass of fresh pineapple juice and sit on the couch, flipping through channels on the flatscreen. Her phone buzzed with a text from Emerie and Cassian offered it to her, but she shook her head.

After the morning news was overーthey only really watched for the wave predictionsーNesta threw a Wii controller at him. He easily caught it, grinning.

“Oh sweetheart, you’re about to be smoked,” Cassian told her, dead serious.

Nesta simply pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow, eyes sparkling with suppressed laughter.

If it was even possible at this point, Cassian fell harder for her. She didn’t seem to notice him staring at her dumbly, too focused on setting up Mario Kart.

Contrary to his belief, Cassian got his ass beat every round, only winning when Nesta let him. Not that he would ever accept that in front of her, but yes, his only wins were at her behest. By their seventh round, Nesta was lounging on the couch, legs stretched across his lap. Cassian was sitting on the edge of the couch, fighting Nesta’s car for first place. Just before they crossed the finish line, his car edged in front of hers and he won.

“YES!” He jumped to his feet and pumped the air, cheering. Nesta gloweredーobviously that one hadn’t been planned.

The next few rounds the stakes were even higher. On their twenty-fifth round, they both had twelve wins. Whoever lost this one would have to buy the winner their favorite ice cream.

As the screen counted down, Nesta shouldered Cassian, making him lose control just as the race began and giving her a major headstart. He growled, catching up quickly and shooting a turtle shell at her, which she easily dodged. Cassian decided the shove was cheating, so he stood up and stood in front of her so she couldn’t see the screen.

Giggling, he passed her and took first place, knowing she would be eye level with his butt and unable to see the screen. Then he howled in pain as she pinched the back of his thigh and kicked him out of the way.

They were nose-to-nose, the finish line approaching on the horizon. Cassian grit his teeth, trying to keep his hairsbreadth lead over Nesta. When she knocked him off course by running her car into his, he grumbled under his breath, trying to get his car under control while Nesta zoomed off toward victory.

In a last ditch effort to prevent her from winning, he grabbed the controller from her hands and held it above his head. Nesta jumped, trying to reach it. But the few inches he had over her worked in his favor because she couldn’t reach her controller.

“I.

“Hate.

“You.

“So. 

“Much.”

He eventually returned it to her once his car was over the finish line but ended up stumbling and knocking them both onto the couch, her heaving chest pressed against his.

Her lips were so close and he couldn’t help but notice the way her tongue flicked across to wet them. Oh, the sinful things he imagined that tongue could do.

Ideas filled his head, especially with her body pressed flush up against his. One of her legs lay between his and the friction of her wriggling beneath him was the last thing he needed.

He closed his eyes and breathed a low, heavy, “Fuck.” If Nesta couldn’t feel him hardening against her thigh, she had to be oblivious.

“Cass,” Nesta murmured. Her steely blue met his, full of amber shame.

After what happened yesterday, the last thing she needed was him being a horny teenager.

“Nesta, I’m so, so sorry,” Cassian apologized profusely, untangling his body from hers. The lack of warmth from her body was acute. Immediately, he sat down on the far end of the couch and crossed his legs, setting a pillow over his erection to hide it.

Her laughter was so elegant, like the gently tinkling of wind chimes in a warm sea breeze. “Well at least now I know how you feel about me,” she giggled, smiling through the scarlet blush that colored her cheeks.

Cassian turned bright red and refused to reply. He was far more focused on thinking about how the waves rose and swelled before crashing on the beach.

When he didn’t give her a reaction after she poked his arm twice, she took a pillow and whacked him over the head. She squealed as he lunged for her, determined to get his revenge. Before long, they each held a pillow, standing on opposite sides of the low coffee table and waiting for the other to make a move.

Nesta slowly took a step to the right, watching him. He grinned and shifted to match her.

With a roar, he lunged for her and succeeding, threw her over his shoulder. She retaliated by dragging her fingers through his hair and getting it all knotted.

“Oh Nesta, you really have a death wish today, don’t you?” Cassian growled, struggling to hide a smile as he heard her laughing silently. She was very quickly set down as he stalked off to brush out his hair.

As he combed his hair, Nesta leaned against the doorway to her bathroom, nibbling on her bottom lip. “Can I braid your hair?” she asked, cracking her knuckles.

Cassian would never admit that he loved the feeling of someone playing with his hair, so he just rolled his eyes and said yes, pretending to be annoyed by the idea.

Twenty minutes later he had two matching Dutch braids in his hair, pulled into a small half-up half-down bun. Nesta grinned when she handed him the mirror. He admired his new hairstyle, hating himself for liking it so much. Although he knew just how much his brothers would make fun of him if they ever caught him out in public with his hair like this.

Nesta patted the top of his head, announcing that she wanted to go to the beach and he had to leave his hair up. Cassian groaned but agreed.

* * *

Elain kept her fingers entangled with Azriel’s the entire drive home. Smiling to herself, she squeezed his hand.

_More than anything, I want to kiss you in front of our family. I want this need for secrecy to end. Elain, I want to be able to call you my girlfriend._

She thought the whole friends with benefits would be easier, but it only made it a thousand times harder. Ever since she lost Graysen’s baby and he broke up with her, Azriel had been there for her. Even as a child, she had loved Az like a brother. But now he was more than that.

A few years ago she stumbled on him just coming out of the shower, a sky blue towel wrapped around his waist and mussing his hair with his fingers. Water dripped down his chest to a place she shouldn’t think about.

“Oh, hey Ellie. I didn’t see you there,” Azriel greeted her, cheeks flushed.

“Azriel,” Elain squeaked in greeting then mentally facepalmed.

He cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow as her gaze slipped. “The coconuts Cassian collected are on the counter.”

“Sorry. Thank you.” Then she fled. But that image haunted her dreams for weeks to come.

Elain didn’t really know the exact date or moment she had fallen for her best friend, but she thought the casual sex would help her get over him. Because dealing with Nesta and Cassian’s sexual tension was already enough, she didn’t need to add her and Azriel’s to it.

It had the complete opposite effect. Now any time away from him was torture and her memories were full of the wonders he could work on her body.

“Azriel?” He hummed in response. “Um, I think I’d like to be able to call you my boyfriend too,” she rushed out.

He pulled the car over on the side of the road, leaning over the console and pulling her in for a kiss. Then once they both needed to take a break to breathe, he leaned his forehead against hers. That simple gesture felt more intimate than anything else, the secret kisses in empty hallways or even their first time.

“You better not be fucking with me, Ellie.”

Elain laughed and he had the audacity to look offended. “Azriel Kekoa, you better start this car and drive us home because I can’t wait to see the look on Cass’s face when I kiss you.”

Azriel grinned and kissed her again. And again. And then for a third time.

Until someone laid on their horn because Azriel wasn’t pulled all the way off the road. They pulled away and looked at each other, laughing with flushed cheeks and swollen lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Cassian taught her to surf, Nesta fell in love. The crash of waves beat the same tune as her heart. The sea flowed through her veins. Selected as a wild card for the 2019 Pipemasters, Nesta can think of nothing else. Every day she practices for the competition that could win her world-wide fame and recognition, riding waves as soon as the sun comes up.
> 
> Cassian hadn’t expected the girl he fought with as a young boy to become one of the best surfers on the island. He had been slowly falling for her the past two years, until he was so hopelessly in love he was sure Nesta could tell. The pair compete with one another every day in whatever they do. He wants to travel the world and surf, sponsored by one of the big companies.
> 
> With the competition drawing near, will Nesta and Cassian ride the dangerous waves of love or drown beneath them?

_Nesta couldn’t really believe it until the head judge hung a gold medal around her neck and gave her a trophy ._

_“Smile for the camera, girls!”_

_A flash as the photographer took the photo._

_“Now bite your medals and look mean!”_

_Another blinding flash._

_Once she stepped down off the podium, she was barreled into by Cassian, who squeezed her tight as he lifted her off the ground and spun her around. “You did it, Nes!”_

_Nesta grinned back at Cassian. “I won. No thanks to you.”_

_He pretended to look offended. “And remind me, who taught you to surf?”_

_“Not you.”_

_A scoff. “Rude.”_

_The photographer stood in front of them. “Excuse me, miss? Can I get a picture of you two? You would be perfect for the spread in the magazine about surfing and young love.”_

_Nesta and Cassian looked at each other then burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, but we’re not dating.”_

_The poor man looked embarrassed._

_“But you can still take our picture,” Cassian rushed out to end the awkwardness. Nesta glared at him and he elbowed her._

_Cassian threw his arm over her shoulders and she wrapped her arm around his waist. The photographer looked through his camera at them then made a couple adjustments to their hair and clothing before finally taking the picture._

_“Perfect. Thank you so much. Now if you’ll just write down your names and addresses, then I’ll send you the photos.” They did so and thanked the photographer before walking off to find Helion and their family._

* * *

Nesta and Cassian stumbled up the stairs to her house giggling. Thank the gods Nesta ordered more than one bottle of her ginger mead because she and Cassian drank the whole thing at the beach. And a bottle of Rhysand’s expensive bourbon.

Nesta remembered pouting as Cassian shook his head like a dog shaking off water, messing up his hair. When she tried to fix it, he growled and took the braids out. That was when they were only tipsy.

Right now, they were drunk off their asses.

Elain opened the door with her hands on her hips, glaring down at them sitting on the steps giggling.

Cassian stood, wobbling a bit as he dragged Nesta into the house. He went to give Elain a hug but misjudged the distance and fell into her. Azriel caught the brunt of Cassian’s weight as Elain stepped out of the way.

“How much did you two drink?” Elain questioned them.

Cassian giggled and exaggeratedly clasped his hands on either side of Azriel’s face before kissing his forehead.

“Cassian, how much did you drink?”

“You know,” Cassian began, slurring his words slightly, “I know all about you.” He carelessly waved a hand, gesturing between Elain and Azriel and in the process, hit his brother in the face. “You aren’t as good at keeping secrets as you think. I know you fucked sweet, innocent Ellie senseless last night.

“Don’t worry, Ellie. I’d fuck him too but,” Cassian dropped his voice to a whisper. “I like Nesta more.”

Nesta sat cross-legged on the floor, holding Fern and petting her while cooing. Fern purred like a freight train, happy as can be.

Elain met Azriel’s gaze and shook her head. “I think you need to take him home. I’ll deal with Nesta.”

Cassian fought his way out of Azriel’s grip and walked to Nesta’s bedroom where he promptly collapsed on her bed, but not before bumping into the couch, doorway and multiple walls. Nesta kissed Elain’s cheek and followed him shortly after, shutting the door behind her.

Elain and Azriel heard a muffled scuffle, along with Nesta telling Cassian to keep his pants on, a yelp because someone landed on the other, then silence.

“Gods, they’re fucking children,” Azriel grumbled. “And I thought Cassian didn’t know.”

Elain wrapped him tight in a hug, laying her head on his chest and hearing his heart beat thunderously. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t remember anything tomorrow,” she replied.

* * *

Sunlight streamed through open windows and Nesta hissed. Her head throbbed and her mouth felt dry as the desert.

“Too fucking bright,” she hissed. “Oh gods I need water and ibuprofen.”

All the memories from yesterday at the beach came flooding back. Cassian pulling her into the water. Her pushing his head under the water. Him shoving her into the oncoming wave and getting a mouthful of seawater. Them collapsing on the beach out of breath from laughing. The way Cassian’s eyes looked in sunlight, like warm pools of honey. His eyes flickering down to her lips. The feeling of his chest rumbling with laughter as she pinned him to the sand. His tongue flicking across her stomach because her ice cream dripped and they were too drunk to care. Her second heartbeat. His body hovering over hers as he lay between her legs. Them giggling as they lay on the sand and pointed out constellations.

“Fuck me,” Nesta breathed.

Sometime in the middle of the night Azriel had roughly woken Cassian up and dragged him back home. Nesta’s bed felt … empty without him. They had been sharing a bed at least once a week since they were teenagers and Nesta was used to waking up in Cassian’s arms.

* * *

A week passed and Nesta was back at work. Thankfully her asshole of a manager scheduled her and Emerie to work together for their shifts. As they cleared tables they chatted quietly, the day passing by faster.

“Archeron and Keahi, tomorrow night you two need to work the lūʻau,” their manager told them as they were heading for the lockers at the end of their shift. When they groaned, he rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, you’re not dancing. You’re just serving guests. Be here at six sharp.”

Emerie hissed under her breath that she hated working the lu’au because of fucking _haoles_. “Drunk white men. Just how I want to spend my Saturday night.”

Nesta just hummed in agreement, realizing that Cassian would be one of the dancers. Somehow Helion was in charge of the hotel’s lūʻau dancers, and the group of males included both Cassian and Azriel. And she would be working, which meant she would see him all oiled up and shirtless, wearing a long grass skirt.

“Hey Nesta,” Emerie began, snapping Nesta out of her daydream, “is your boyfriend dancing tomorrow night? Holy gods, he’s hot.”

Nesta tackled Em, snarling that Cassian wasn’t her boyfriend and Emerie better keep her paws off Nesta’s best friend.

* * *

Cassian had known for weeks that he was working the Princeville’s lūʻau. He just forgot to tell Nesta until she came home that night and announced she was working tomorrow night so they couldn’t facetime Rhys in Australia and Feyre on the mainland.

Elain was in charge of the floral arrangements, so she had to be there as well. Nesta would be waiting tables. Then he and Azriel would be dancing.

Saturday night came too fast. He and Azriel were required to be there at noon to rehearse. Elain was wandering around, making sure there would be space for the flowers and plants coming in on a truck later.

During a short break, his phone buzzed with a facetime from Nesta. She was sitting on the couch wearing the crewneck she stole from him, eating the leftovers of _pad thai_ they ordered the night before. Fern jumped up and knocked her phone over, then he heard a little scuffle and Fern’s disgruntled meowing before the camera refocused on Nesta holding the cat.

_Hey Cass. Uh yea, just warning you that Emerie may be lusting after you tonight during the performance._

He chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “And what about you, sweetheart? Will you be able to keep your eyes off me?”

Nesta glared at him, telling him to fuck off.

“Cassian Kekoa! Get off the phone with your girlfriend and get up on stage,” Helion yelled.

Cassian mumbled a quick apology, ending the call.

Rehearsal went well and ended fairly soon after. Helion sent the group up to the two rooms the hotel gave them and told them to rest up before their performance tonight.

Maleko slapped Cassian’s shoulder as they walked into the hotel room. “So, Cass, who’s your hot piece of ass?”

Maleko was a grade A fuckboy, one both Cassian and Azriel had gone to high school with. Somehowーthey had no idea howーhe was engaged to a sweet girl named Leilani from Honolulu.

“Fuck off, Mal,” Cassian said, heading to take a shower.

“Wait, oh my god. You’re dating Nesta Archeron? The girl who was picked as the wildcard for the Pipemasters? Ohhhh, it makes so much sense now.”

Cassian groaned. “We’re not dating. We’re just friends. Gods. Now let me shower in peace.”

The youngsters Ari and Mateo thankfully distracted Maleko by talking about where they were going surfing tomorrow. Once he was done in the shower, the other three fought over who got to shower next. Stepping out onto the balcony to distance himself from their bickering, Cassian leaned on the railing and stared at the horizon. He wished he could be surfing right now, but working the hotel lūʻau paid good money.

Three hours later, Amren, who was in charge of the show, banged on their hotel door and stood there, pissed that they made her wait. “Hello, Cassian. Boys, you need to be dressed and ready in twenty minutes.”

The tiny woman was intimidating, terrifying Mateo, who had opened the door. Her poor assistant, dragging around a heavy cart with dress bags, handed Cassian their outfits before running to catch up with Amren.

Maleko took his bag and unzipped it, grimacing at the nude spandex that they wore underneath their skirts. “I always hate this part,” he groaned. Cassian had to agree. Squeezing into spandex was hell, especially when they rode up his ass during the performance and he couldn’t pull them down.

Thankfully Helion included simple black tees and slacks in the bags so they didn’t have to walk through the hotel in costume and get mobbed by guests.

They practically ran through the lobby, having taken too long to help Ari and Mateo get into their spandex. Amren would flay them if they were late.

Cassian couldn’t stop himself as someone walked into his path and they fell tangled in a heap. Of course it would be Nesta, in her white collared shirt and black pencil skirt. 

“Get off me, brute,” she snarled.

With a smile he bit down, Cassian stood and helped Nesta to her feet. Maleko stood farther down the hallway, grinning like a wolf. Once Cassian made sure Nesta was fine, he ran off to catch up with the rest of the group, hearing a quiet “Good luck!” following him.

Amren stood at the door, arms crossed and tapping the toe of one of her blood red pumps. “You’re late.”

Cassian kissed each of her cheeks, shooing the others through the door. “Yes, yes. Sorry, Amren.”

“Go get ready. And Cassian, if you could keep it in your pants, being late wouldn’t be a problem!”

* * *

One of Nesta and Emerie’s jobs as servers was to prepare the bar. They brought fresh fruit and fresh limes for the bartenders and took drinks to guests in the crowd.

Another was to bring the dancers food before the show. Nesta tried to calm her racing heartbeat, failing. She had seen Cassian shirtless hundreds of times before, so this time shouldn’t be any different.

As she wheeled the cart into the room, the dancers rushed over. Maleko practically shoved Nesta out of the way so he could take the fresh pineapple and an energy bar. Cassian and Azriel stood at the back of the line, quiet. Quiet Cassian meant he was nervous.

Nesta handed him the chocolate chip Clif bar she poached from the cart just for him and a handful of lychees she protected from the other males. For Azriel, she had a peanut butter Clif bar and a banana.

Azriel thanked her with a nod of his head before eating, whereas Cassian kissed her forehead very exaggeratedly. “Ah, I love you!” he exclaimed, drawing the gazes of everyone in the room.

Before anyone could open their mouth to say anything, Cassian snarled, “Don’t you even start, Mal.” Maleko grinned through a mouthful of pineapple.

“Cassian,” Nesta murmured, “I don’t know if I can do this. What if I see someone dressed like him and freeze?”

Cassian led her out into the hallway, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of how strong you are, _ipo_. If you get too stressed, just look for me. Or find Em and tell her.” He gripped her shoulders tightly, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “Nesta. It is not weak to admit that you’re ready yet.”

Nesta looked away, blinking back tears. Gods damn him for being so perfect and knowing just what to say.

He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, softly pressing his lips to hers. Nesta looped her arms around his neck and tangled her fingers in his hair, standing on her toes to kiss him better. Her phone buzzed in her waistband, ruining the moment.

It was Emerie, asking where Nesta was. “Shit. Cass, I gotta go.” Nesta kissed him one last time before rushing off to find Em. “ _Laki maikaʻi_!”

Her fingers drifted up to her lips as she rushed to the pavillion and she smiled. Em and Elain yanked her the rest of the way. They ran in breathless, just as Ms. Morrigan began instructing the servers what to do to prepare for their guests.

Elain grabbed Nesta and Em, with Mor’s approval, and used them to carry her floral arrangements in from the truck. Fresh leis made of purple plumerias were given to the servers for the guests. The female servers wore a single frangipani bloom either behind their ear or tucked in their buns.

Nesta wore hers behind her ear, accidentally choosing the side that meant she was already in a relationship. No one corrected her. Elain and Emerie shared a quiet smile over it but they didn’t have time for anything else because guests were arriving.

Once the performance began, Nesta’s job was mostly to stand in the shadows out of the way and watch for any guest that might need something. She mostly watched the show, and Cassian.

Of course with his muscles and extensive tattoos he would be one of the main characters. Oil made his body shimmer as he moved. Nesta’s eyes widened when she saw the way his hips moved. It was sensual in a way that had everyone in the audience drooling over him.

She was transfixed by the performance and nearly missed a guest gesturing irritatedly at her. Hurrying over, she crouched and asked what was wrong in a whisper. The woman asked where the bathroom was and if they had anything to remove the stain from orange juice because her son had spilled it on himself. Nesta helped the boy up, taking his hand as she led him and his mother to the bathroom.

“I’ll check and see what I can get you. What is your name, ma’am?” Nesta asked in a louder voice, though it was still quiet.

“Sofia. And thank you so much,” the woman replied as she took her son into the bathroom.

Nesta knew Emerie kept a Tide marker in her locker, so she sent her friend to get it while she waited. Em returned with the marker and Nesta took it to the woman, who thanked her profusely and tried to give her money, which Nesta had to politely refuse.

Stepping out of the bathroom, a man in a navy business suit stalked past, nearly running her over. Nesta panicked, her breath coming in short bursts. She tried to calm her breathing and her racing pulse but couldn’t.

The drums beat one last time before Helion began announcing the cast members and dancers, the audience applauding loudly. Thanking the gods, Nesta hurried to the stage, pretending to gather plates but was really waiting for Cassian. 

He came up to her grinning, but his smile fell when he saw the terror in her features. “Come on, let’s get you out of here. I can always come back for pictures,” Cassian said, taking the plates from her hands and giving them to a server who was passing by. They found her manager and Helion, Cassian telling them that Nesta was having a panic attack and needed to leave for a little. Neither looked terribly thrilled, but Helion gave Nesta a soft smile and nodded to her.

Once they were away from the crowds, Nesta sat down on the ground with her knees to her chest and back against the wall. “I thought I saw him … and I just panicked. Or it was someone who looked like him, I don’t know. But I couldn’t breathe and everything started closing in around me.” Nesta wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hands.

“Baby steps, Nes. Baby steps. That’s all it takes,” Cassian replied in a soothing voice, gently thumbing away her tears.

They heard the rest of the dancers coming back, talking and laughing. Azriel saw Nesta first and lifted her into a tight hug. She squeezed him back, not caring that he smelled of oil and sweat and cologne.

“Yo, Cass, wanna come to the bar with us afterward?” Maleko grinned and clapped Cassian’s shoulder. “Three girls gave me their numbers tonight.”

Cassian shoved him. “You have a lovely fiancee, Maleko. Go home to her.” The younger boys laughed, joking with Maleko and the others as they walked back to their hotel rooms where their clothes were.

Azriel’s silence was calming and soon she was feeling more herself. He understood, even though she didn’t realize he knew. She didn’t need to thank him because he read it in her eyes.

“Go find Elain and Emerie, we’ll catch up with you,” Azriel told her softly. He squeezed her one last time before giving her a gentle push to be on her way.

Nesta looked back at the brothers as she walked the opposite way down the hall, the sight of them talking quietly with their heads together steadying her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Cassian taught her to surf, Nesta fell in love. The crash of waves beat the same tune as her heart. The sea flowed through her veins. Selected as a wild card for the 2019 Pipemasters, Nesta can think of nothing else. Every day she practices for the competition that could win her world-wide fame and recognition, riding waves as soon as the sun comes up.
> 
> Cassian hadn’t expected the girl he fought with as a young boy to become one of the best surfers on the island. He had been slowly falling for her the past two years, until he was so hopelessly in love he was sure Nesta could tell. The pair compete with one another every day in whatever they do. He wants to travel the world and surf, sponsored by one of the big companies.
> 
> With the competition drawing near, will Nesta and Cassian ride the dangerous waves of love or drown beneath them?

_The first time Cassian’s grandmother came to visit from New Zealand, she intimidated both Cassian and Nesta. Her black braid hung to her waist, streaked with grey. Tribal tattoos, inked by her own brother when they were young, snaked up her arms. Her dresses were always solid colors but elaborately designed sashes were always tied around her waist. A simple spiral made of seashell hung around her neck. Small gold hoops hung from both ears._

_Nesta’s fiery attitude made her laugh, whispering something to Cassian’s mother that made both smile. Cassian was incredibly shy around her. He didn’t quite know how to act, whereas Nesta grew even bolder._

_But when the old woman went with the children to the beach to watch them surf, she recognized the beauty in how Nesta cut through the waves as gracefully as a dolphin. Cassian seemed to feed off Nesta’s energy in the water, the two always fighting and bickering._

_“Kupunawahine, I got the better wave! You saw!” Cassian came running up to her, Nesta right behind him._

_“Cassian, call me Nana,” his grandmother replied, chuckling. “You may have gotten the better wave this time, but Nesta has a gift. You have it too, but you both need to cherish it and hone it. Nāmaka didn’t give you these gifts for you to waste them.”_

_Nesta beamed at the comment while Cassian glowered. “Thank you, Kupunawahine,” Nesta said._

_His grandmother squeezed Nesta’s hand. “Call me Nana as well, dear. You’ll be family soon enough.”_

* * *

Cassian woke Azriel before the sun’s rays began peeking over the ocean. Azriel wasn’t happy, having been sleeping peacefully with Elain.

He was like a little kid trying to get Azriel out of bed. “Azriel,” Cassian whined and pleaded. “Get up. I wanna go surfing.”

His brother’s only reply was to flip him off and roll over. “Leave me alone,” Azriel grumbled. “Let me sleep in peace.”

Pouting, Cassian grabbed his wetsuit and board before letting himself into the Archeron house. Nesta was standing in the bathroom braiding her hair, wearing nothing but a ruby red bikini top and a pair of grey board shorts. 

With a low whistle, Cassian leaned against the door frame. He saw her flush scarlet in the mirror. That specific shade of red happened to be his favorite color and gods, she looked good in it.

Finishing her braid, Nesta turned to look at him. She frowned, looking past him out into the hallway. “Wait, where’s Azriel?”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “Being a grumpy old man sleeping with your sister.”

Nesta laughed, then straightened her face. “Sorry, we can go now,” she said. As they left, she locked the door, setting the key under the small hibiscus Elain kept on their stoop.

They loaded the boards onto Cassian’s truck and drove in silence to the beach. They could’ve just surfed at the stretch of beach by their houses, but the waves there were too small today.

Waves thundered and crashed against the shore with a roar as Cassian parked in the sand. Nesta slipped off her Birkenstocks and left them in his truck, sitting her sunglasses, wallet and phone underneath the towel on her seat.

“Damn those waves are big. Are you sure about this, Cass?” Nesta asked, nerves lining both her voice and features.

“ _Ipo_ , those waves are nothing for you. But we can always find another spot,” Cassian reassured her. It was all up to her what she wanted to do. He wouldn’t push her to do what she wasn’t comfortable with yet, especially after the last big wave she took. “Although look, here comes Maleko with Ari and Mateo.”

Hissing an insult under her breath, Nesta took her board from his trunk and waxed it. Once she attached the tether to her ankle and made sure the fins were secure, she headed for the waves. Cassian followed her, waiting for Mal first.

“Boys, today you get to watch the renowned Nesta Archeron train for Pipemasters,” Maleko announced to Ari and Mateo, ignoring a death glare from Cassian.

By the time Cassian was paddling through the waves, Nesta was already sitting out beyond the breakers, waiting for him. He dove under, ignoring the fresh burn of seawater in his eyes. Within minutes, he met Nesta.

It was peacefully silent except for the waves crashing on the beach, at least until Maleko arrived. Then he wouldn’t shut the fuck up and Cassian really wanted to shove him off his board.

One good wave came, then two. Then a third. Nesta waited until it was almost too late for the third before taking it. Mateo pulled up short just before the drop, having caught a glance of Nesta’s silver board. All of them cheered as Nesta paddled back to them, water dripping off her.

Her grin was like sunshine and Cassian basked in its warmth.

“You’re doing amazing, sweetheart,” Cassian told her.

Nesta splashed water at him, biting her bottom lip. “Stop,” she protested.

“No, I’m being serious. You are.” Cassian had an overwhelming feeling that Nesta was about to shove him off his board in the next few seconds so he took the oncoming wave.

The drop loomed just under the tip of his board and he whooped, cutting through the massive wall of water like it was air and gliding into the pipeline. He trailed his fingers through the wall, adrenaline rushing through his veins. Soft morning sunlight streamed through the end of the tunnel and he smoothly exited, the wave crashing behind him.

A shadow blocked the sunlight and Cassian looked up. Then swore. It was a massive wave, one he didn’t want to get caught in. As white seafoam began to form he dived off his board and under the wave, trying to escape it. The undercurrents pulled at his board, yanking him back. The ocean tumbled him around like he was a doll, finally spitting him out closer to the shore than the others.

His board was only battered, not broken, thank the gods. Shaking his head (Nesta always said he looked like a wet dog doing it), he jumped back onto his board and paddled back out to Nesta.

* * *

“Hey Nesta, um … I think you’re really pretty. And I was wondering if you wanted to, um, go out sometime?” The boy scratched the back of his neck, nervous. “Oh! Sorry, I’m Mateo,” he chuckled nervously.

Nesta looked at him, delighting in the power her gaze had. He tried to sit still but ended up fidgeting with his necklace.

The boy, Mateo, was cute but not at all her type. His curly blond hair contrasted with his skin, a few tones darker than Cassian and Azriel’s. An intricately designed shark swam up his back. Eyes blue as the ocean surrounding them watched her, waiting for a reply.

She gave him a soft smile, watching him grin. “You’re awfully young, aren’t you?”

He protested, “I’m almost 19!”

Nesta just shook her head. “I’m sorry, Mateo. I won’t lead you on when I know nothing will come from it. Anyway, I already have my heart set on someone else.” She felt her cheeks burn and looked down at her board, tracing spirals in the water droplets.

“Cassian?” She could hear the grin in the boy’s voice.

Nesta rolled her eyes but just shrugged in reply, not giving him a definite answer.

Speaking of the devil, Cassian paddled up to Nesta and leaned on his hand, giving her his signature shit-eating grin. “What about me?” he asked.

“We were just talking about how fucking annoying you are,” Nesta snarled, shoving him off his board.

When he resurfaced, he yanked her into the water. “That, sweetheart, was uncalled for. You can walk home.”

They heard Mateo laughing and when they both glared at him, he suddenly found his board very interesting.

Turning her attention back to Cassian, she couldn’t find him. His board was on the surface but his ankle tether floated a few feet away. Then his hands wrapped around her ankle and with a yelp, she was yanked under. Once the bubbles cleared she could see Cassian blowing her a kiss. Flipping him off, she dived for him. He screamed in mock terror, bubbles streaming up to the surface.

She quickly caught up to him, latching herself onto his arm and smiling as he frowned. Cassian gave her the ‘up’ signal, meaning he needed air. Letting go, Nesta began to swim to the surface. On her way up, she accidentally kicked Cassian in the face.

They both climbed back onto their boards, water streaming off their bodies. By that point, Mateo had caught a wave of his own so only Maleko was sitting there, idly spinning in circles. He pointed at Cassian’s nose, which neither had noticed was bleeding.

“Kanapapiki,” Cassian swore.

Nesta didn’t know whether or not she should apologise. She never got the chance because they heard a scream. It was Mateo, who had gotten thrown onto the reef and who had a sea urchin lodge itself in his foot. To top it all off, he landed in a patch of fire coral.

Ari was closest and dragged him to shore, taking care to make removing the urchin spine as painlessly as possible. When Nesta and the males following her arrived, Mateo was crying and writhing on the sand.

“It burns!” he sobbed. “Make it stop!”

Cassian and Maleko carried Mateo back to the water, making sure his arm and back were submerged and rinsed thoroughly. Then they carried him to Mal’s Jeep, having Ari keep Mateo company in the backseat as Mal drove them home.

After they drove off, Cassian turned to Nesta. “You wanna keep going or just be done for the day?”

Checking her waterproof watch, Nesta shook her head. “It’s only seven. Let’s keep surfing. Gods know I need the practice.”

* * *

Three days later Nesta was sore, tired, and pissed at herself. She had missed over a dozen Pipemaster-worthy waves because she got too in her head and couldn’t do it. Cassian pushed her, knowing full well she would only do it if she felt like she could.

With only a week until the competition, Nesta felt the pressure building. Renowned female surfers from around the world were showing up on Kauai, many staying at the Princeville or renting houses for the week.

She snapped at Cassian more times than she could count. He took it all in stride, knowing this wasn’t permanent and she would be back to her normal self once the competition was over and everyone left the island.

Early mornings weren’t early enough, seeing as everyone was out surfing before work or school, trying to impress the Billabong reps. They had to resort to a spot only locals knew but few surfed at, if you wanted to brave the dangerous waves. This stretch of beach was known for breaking bones and ripping boards to splinters.

Nesta had no other option, seeing as if she wanted to train in peace she couldn’t use the regular spots. 

Cassian and Azriel were always out with her. Elain sat on the beach and read her book or designed new floral arrangements for her latest commissions. Even Rhys came back to surf with them, cutting his business trip to Australia short.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” Nesta told Cassian late one night as they lay in her bed. “Everyone’s just … so much _better_ than me.”

Cassian poked her, right above her heart. “What did Helion tell you?”

“I wouldn’t have been chosen as the wildcard if I didn’t deserve it.”

“Exactly.”

“But, Cass, I might have deserved it when I got the nomination. But that doesn’t mean I still do. What happens if I get too in my head during the heat? I can’t just sit there the entire time and not take a wave.”

“Trust your gut. The ocean will tell you. When it feels right, just go for it.”

Now as she sat in between Cassian and Azriel, she thought about what he said. _The ocean will tell you._ Waves thundered as they crashed onto one another in front of the trio. Nesta didn’t know what Cassian was talking about until she felt it. It wasn’t something she could describe, but she knew what it meant, and who it was from.

Paddling furiously, she heard Cassian whooping as she crested the wave. She jumped to a crouch, waiting until the tip of her board went down. Then she stood and tipped over the edge of the wave. Down she went, her silver board slicing through water like a hot knife in butter.

The pipeline formed and the outside world fell away. All she could hear was flowing and crashing water. It was breathtaking.

At least until the pipe closed up on her. Forced to jump unless she wanted to be pummeled by hundreds of thousands of gallons of water, Nesta dove off her board, aiming for underneath and behind the swell of the wave. It worked, seeing as she and her board popped up a few hundred feet from the boys.

Cassian waited until she was close enough to inform her of his plan. Rhys would be on the beach with an air horn and a twenty-minute timer. She and Cassian would be competing for waves. Azriel would be out in the water with them to make sure there was no foul play.

As soon as Rhys blew the air horn, Cassian was off. The wave crashed on top of him but he returned dragging a hand through this dripping hair and grinning.

Both Kekoas told her when there were perfect waves coming so she could take them. A few she took on her own with no guidance from them. Others she fought Cassian for.

The last wave of the set she took a chance on. It was massive, at least three times as tall as her. The pipeline it created was gorgeous, until it crashed on her with no warning.

Nesta was pummeled with water and spun around so much until she couldn’t tell where the surface was. Her board got caught in the coming wave, pulling her up into it and sending her crashing back into the ocean. Finally she broke the surface, surrounded by white foam and rolling waves, gasping for air. Climbing back onto her board, she paddled towards shore, riding the gentle waves that seemed to be mocking her.

On the beach, she stalked out of the surf and threw her board on the sand. “I’m fucking done!” she shouted, startling everyone. “Fuck it. I’ll just drop out now.”

Cassian and Azriel opened their mouths to protest but instead their jaws dropped as a woman patted Nesta on the shoulder. She whipped around, fully prepared to yell some more but lost her voice once she recognized who stood in front of her.

Alessa Quinzon. Only a few years older than Nesta, but had already won the Billabong World Juniors in Australia. Dressed simply in a pair of jean shorts, sandals and a Billabong tee, she lifted her sunglasses to smile at Nesta.

“That was a beautiful wave, by the way. Unfortunate that the pipeline collapsed on you, but beautiful,” Alessa said, holding out a hand for Nesta to shake. “I’m Alessa, so you must be this year’s wildcard, Nesta Archeron.”

Nesta nodded, still at a loss for words.

“It’s nice meeting you. Anyways, I gotta go, but something my dad always said that I hope sticks with you: ‘Win or lose, always have a smile on your face.’ Keep practicing, because you’ve got some serious potential.” Alessa clapped Nesta’s shoulder before smiling at the boys behind Nesta and walking back to where she parked her car. “Laki maikaʻi!”

Once she drove off, Nesta’s voice finally returned. “Holy gods. That was Alessa Quinzon. _The_ Alessa Quinzon.”

Cassian moved to stand in front of her, smirking. “See, ipo, you’ve got this. You have nothing to worry about.”

Nesta raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Pa'a ka waha, Cass.”

“Let’s end on a good note and go home,” Azriel announced. “Plus I’m starving.” Offering Elain a hand, he pulled her to her feet and kissed her sweetly, keeping his fingers linked with hers afterward.

Nesta and Cassian laughed as Rhys’s jaw dropped. “Hold up a motherfuckin’ second. I was gone for barely two weeks. You’re together now?” Rhys just shook his head in confusion.

“They’ve been together for a lot longer than that. And they’re shit at hiding it,” Cassian drawled, winking at Azriel who flipped him off as Elain flushed. Rhys sputtered, still in shock. “You should’ve seen the stupid grin on his face the morning after I heard him come back from their little fun on the beach.”

Mimicking Elain, Cassian cried, “Oh please, Azriel! Harder!” Nesta drove the back end of her board into his stomach and he doubled over, wheezing with laughter.

Elain had to physically hold Azriel back, preventing him from attacking his brother. “I fucking hate you,” he snarled.

Holding his hands up in surrender, Rhys backed away, muttering to himself that he had nothing to do with this. 

Nesta yanked Cassian to his feet and dragged him by his ear over to Elain and Azriel, forcing him to apologize. “Never talk about my sister like that ever again,” she growled, tightening her grip until he whimpered. Azriel glared at Cassian with murder in his eyes. If looks could kill, Cassian would be dead ten times over.

Once he finally apologized and it was sincere, they packed up their boards.

Elain walked next to Nesta back to where they were parked. “Nesta, how long have you known?” she asked, squeezing her sketchbook tightly against her chest.

Nesta turned to face her little sister, leaning her board up against Cassian’s truck and pulling her in for a hug. “Long enough. But it doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy.”

“Can we go home now?”

“Of course. I think we deserve a little time away from these territorial bastards anyway.”

Elain giggled and nodded. “Definitely.”

They chose to ignore Cassian and Azriel brawling in the sand behind them, shaking their heads as Rhys got into it and started cheering for whoever he wanted to win.


	8. Chapter 8

_Nesta lay sprawled out on the sand, staring up at the stars. Waves lapped at the shore quietly. The full moon made it harder to see the stars glittering in the darkness, but Nesta squinted._

_A flash of light arced across the sky._

_She wished._

_Cassian flopped himself down next to her with an oomph. “You’re not still wishing on shooting stars, are you, Nessie?”_

_“Go away,” she hissed._

_He didn’t. Instead, he pointed out constellations, explaining their names in the native language of his grandmother’s culture and their meanings and the stories behind them._

_When he saw a shooting star, she heard him mumble under his breath. Nesta snorted a laugh, crawling to her feet and heading back inside._

_Wishing on a star didn’t hurt anybody and she really hoped it would come true. But she refused to repeat what she wished for, even in the privacy of her own mind. Saying it aloud would spoil the magic of the wish._

* * *

Two days until Pipemasters.

Elain was smart enough to move into Azriel’s bedroom until after the competition. Rhys flew to the mainland to go pick up Feyre and bring her home. They all gave Nesta plenty of space so she could get into the right mindset. 

She would be competing against some of the best female surfers in the entire world, after all.

While the others gave her as much space as she needed, Cassian stuck to her side like a barnacle. When Nesta asked why, he replied that he knew the feeling and it was always better to have someone by your side.

Nesta was fidgety all day. Nervous was an understatement. She needed a way to release the tension bubbling up inside her before it forced its way to the surface. When she accidentally knocked over her glass of water at dinner, Cassian frowned but helped her clean it up.

After dinner, she suddenly decided they needed to go for a walk on the beach so she could clear her head. While Cassian was perfectly content to sit on the couch with a beer and watch something, Nesta was not. She dragged him out of the house and down onto the beach, closing her eyes and tipping her face up to the stars as she dug her toes into the sand.

Waves rumbled and crashed against the shore, lapping gently at her toes. The sound calmed her racing heart. It reminded her this was the exact reason she loved to surf. When it was just her and the wave, and in the moment, nothing else mattered.

_Nesta._

_Nesta._

_Nesta._

The sea called her name and it would be rude to ignore it.

Nesta could faintly hear Cassian calling her name, as if she were in another world. Tugging her shirt off and throwing it behind her on the sand, she stepped farther into the crashing waves.

Once the water lapped at her thighs, she dove under, reveling in the darkness and burn of saltwater and the silence.

* * *

Cassian called Nesta’s name but she didn’t respond. It was if she couldn’t hear him. When she took off her shirt and threw it on the sand, he swore. He practically ripped his own shirt trying to get it off as she dove under the surface.

Starlight rippled on the settling waves. Cassian waded into the water, his eyes furiously tracking back and forth across the water to see where she would surface.

There she was. Maybe ten feet out, where the water was still shallow enough to stand.

“Nesta!”

This time she turned around and swam back to him. Cassian wanted to yell at her for scaring him again, that this was one too many times. His hands trembled at his sides.

Once she was close enough, he pulled her into a hug so tight she pounded on his arm because she couldn’t breathe. Burying his nose into the crook of her neck, he breathed in her never-changing scent of Atelier Cologne’s Pacific Lime, Moroccan Oil, and brine.

Nesta wormed her way out of his arms, standing in front of him. They stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak first.

Nesta broke the silence.

“Cass, you’re scaring me. You’re never this quiet,” Nesta said, brows furrowing. He longed to smooth out the crease in her skin but he didn’t trust his hands to stay steady enough. “Cassian, please. Say something, anything,” she pleaded.

“Now you know how I’ve felt too many times in the past three weeks. It sucks, doesn’t it, being scared shitless about someone you lーwho’s like family to you,” he spat, leaning in so their faces were inches apart.

“You were—what? How were you scared about me? I can handle myself.”

The wave of anger ebbed and he sighed heavily, dragging a hand through his messy hair. “When that wave crashed down on you then you didn’t come back, I was fucking terrified. You’re my best friend and I love you. I couldn’t lose you too. So yes. I was scared. Now I’m afraid you’re going to do something stupid before Pipemasters that’ll end your surfing career.” Hints of frustration filled his voice.

Fear turned to anger in those beautiful stormy blue-grey eyes. She shoved him backward, hard. Through gritted teeth, she hissed, “You have no right to say that, none.”

His laugh was dark. “Oh, okay. I have no right to say that because you, the great Nesta Archeron, can’t let people care about you. No one is allowed to love you because you can’t even love yourself.”

The second the words left his mouth, he regretted them. In the heat of the moment, they chose their words and sharpened them until even grazing them would draw blood. They were vicious and meant to cause the other the most harm possible.

He stumbled back a few steps as the back of Nesta’s hand connected with his cheek. 

“Fuck you, Cassian. FUCK YOU!

“No wonder your father ditched your mother the second you were born. I would too, if I saw who you would become.”

Cassian saw red. “Don’t you fucking dare drag my mother into this. She was a far better woman than you could ever hope to be.”

“Worthless bastard.”

“Fucking heartless bitch.”

They glared at each other, panting as their chests heaved. If lightning could strike from the heat in their glares, it would. Their anger rose like the wave of a tsunami, towering over them and waiting for the crescendo that could either be their salvation or their destruction.

* * *

Elain thought it would be a beautiful night to go for a stroll on the beach. The moon was a sliver in the sky and it was cloudless, so they could see all the constellations they desired.

As she and Azriel walked hand in hand down to the beach, they saw two figures standing apart in the water. Voices carried across the water and she recognized both Nesta and Cassian’s. Azriel tugged her backward, shaking his head.

“Not tonight,” he whispered. “They’re fighting. We should go.”

Elain nodded in agreement.

Then they heard the crack of skin on skin, followed by Nesta screaming “Fuck you, Cassian. FUCK YOU!”

Their anger had a blast radius; Azriel and Elain could feel the waves of it and shivered. They glanced at each other, nodding, and went home as fast as they could. They didn’t want to be anywhere near those two when they finally blew their fuses.

Nesta felt everything. Elain knew from experience. She felt every flare of anger, every drop of sadness, every ray of happiness. When she was happy, she lit up those around her. When she was mad it infected those around her like a disease.

And her most lethal weapon was her words. They were deadly, hitting hard and digging deep into their intended target.

———————————

“I fucking hate you,” Nesta snarled. Her first connected with Cassian’s gut and he doubled over, wheezing. His eyes blazed with fury and before he knew it, he had swept her feet out from under her.

This was no fair fight.

Nesta clambered to her feet, watching him before she saw an opening to throw a punch. Cassian dodged it, slamming his right fist into her side. Crying out, Nesta waited for him to let his guard down, because he always did when she was in pain, before knocking him over into the sand. He grunted when she landed on top of him.

Cassian flipped them so his knees were on either side of her hips, preventing her from moving. He hovered over her, one of his hands pinning both of hers down so she couldn’t attack him, the other holding himself up.

Those hazel eyes she loved so much but couldn’t stand right now practically glowed with the amount of harnessed fury in them. Wriggling, Nesta tried to escape from under Cassian but he just put more of his weight onto her hips and tightened his grip on her wrists. Gods damn him, he was heavy.

Anger anger anger. Their fury and hatred of each other eclipsed anything else they might have felt at being in this position any other time. Nesta wanted to kiss him and at the same time shove his head under the water.

* * *

“Ellie?” Azriel called Elain’s name. They had decided to watch _Pride and Prejudice_ once they returned from the beach. The movie was ready, but Elain was nowhere to be found.

“There you are. What are you doing?” he chuckled, slipping his arms around her waist from behind as she stood on the master bedroom’s balcony, which happened to face the beach.

Elain grumbled under her breath but turned to press a kiss to Azriel’s lips. A pair of binoculars hung from her neck. Azriel shook his head. They shouldn’t be spying on Nesta and Cassian.

“They foughtーand I mean fought physically, like it wasn’t prettyーbut now Cassian is sitting on top of her and has her hands pinned,” Elain told him. “I swear to the gods, they just need to fuck each other already.”

Azriel choked on the air he was breathing, coughing hard. “Sorry, love, but I have no intention of interfering with or spying on my brother’s sex life.”

“Butー”

“No buts, Elain. I’ve been dealing with their sexual tension since before Nesta walked in on Cass masturbating. A few days won’t hurt.”

Elain’s eyes went wide. “WHAT? Spill, now.”

“No. Let’s watch the movie.”

“The movie can wait. I need to hear this.”

Groaning, Azriel relented as Elain lay with her head on his shoulder as they sat on the couch.

It was one of the few days the weren’t up surfing at dawn. Azriel was lounging on the deck reading a book when Nesta came up the stairs. She went inside then reappeared a few moments later with a glass of mango juice for him. ‘Harry Potter, Az?’ she chuckled. He rolled his eyes, shoving her back into the direction of where Rhys was complaining about there being no bacon.

‘Oh hi Nesta. Cassian’s in his room if you’re looking for him. Just go straight in,” Azriel heard Rhysand telling Nesta. After he heard floorboards creaking, he heard Rhys giggling like a maniac.

A few moments later, he heard Nesta swearing up a storm and Cassian yelling at her to get the fuck out of his room and did she not know what the closed door meant. Then his door slammed shut and Nesta stomped back out to where Azriel was sitting, looking like she was about to kill someone.

‘I think I need to bleach my eyes. I’ve seen more of Cassian in the past minute than I ever wanted to see in my entire life,’ Nesta groaned. From inside, they heard Rhys ask if she was sure about that. Both Nesta and Azriel shouted for him to shut the fuck up.

Elain frowned. “That explains why Nesta hated Rhysand for a while. Wait, when was this?”

“When we were all seventeen. Now can we please watch the movie?” Azriel mumbled, shoving a pillow in Elain’s face as she opened her mouth to ask more questions.

* * *

Cassian leaned down so his chest was brushing Nesta’s as she breathed. Their lips were a mere hairsbreadth apart. His chuckle was dark as her breathing hitched.

“You, sweetheart, are the absolute worst,” he purred in her ear, smirking at the way her body arched into his. “Quite the heartless bitch who could never let herself be loved by anyone, not even her own family.”

Neither realized he had loosened his grip on her wrists until she slapped him. Any arousal she may have felt was drowned in a wave of blazing fury. “Fuck. You. Cassian,” she snarled. “You know nothing about me.”

“Oh really? Because I think I know a lot more about you than you care to admit, even to yourself.”

“You know what? Get off me. Get the fuck away from me. I could never love you, no matter how much I wanted to.”

Nesta must have hit a nerve because he slammed her back into the sand before standing up and stalking off. It stung more than she cared to admit.

Kneeling on the sand, she screamed at his tattooed back, “Like father, like son, I guess.” Cassian stopped, his head dropped and his shoulders sagged. “Oh shit. Fuck. I fucked up,” Nesta murmured to herself. She stood and chased after him, grabbing his hand. He shook her off.

“Cassianー”

He whipped around, dragging a hand through his hair. Tears streamed down his cheeks but he didn’t make any move to wipe them away. Throwing his hands out to sides, he met her gaze. “Is this what you wanted, huh? To see me cry? Well, if that was your goal, you succeeded. You’ve officially lost me as a friend. Have fun at Pipemasters. Without me.”

Nesta didn’t stop him from leaving a second time as she sank to her knees in the sand, sobbing. The waves lapping gently at shore mocked her. Biting her lip to hold back her scream, she punched the sand over and over until she tasted blood and her eyes were blurry with tears.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short one but it’s gonna hurt like a bitch

Elain was asleep with her head on his chest. Azriel didn’t want to wake her, but he felt like something was off. A car door slammed outside then it roared away.

Cassian’s truck.

“Oh no,” he breathed. Carrying Elain to bed, he pulled up the blankets and kissed her forehead before slipping outside. Something must have gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Azriel ran to the beach, seeing Nesta sitting there. He heard her sobbing practically from the trees next to the road.

Calling her name softly did nothing, but as he neared her he saw the drops of blood on the sand. “Nesta,” he cried, hurrying to crouch in front of her. “No no no, what happened?”

Her lip was split open; blood dripped down her chin and from her torn up knuckles. When Elain said they fought, this wasn’t what he imagined. Cassian loved Nesta more than life itself, he would never hurt her like this. At least Azriel thought so.

Nesta’s chin quivered and she collapsed into Azriel’s open arms. “He’s not coming back,” she sobbed. “He’s not coming back. I fucked up and now he’s not coming back. I love him but he hates me now, I’m sure of it.”

There was one thing Azriel needed to make sure of first. “Did he do this to you?”

Nesta pulled back, glaring at him. “I did it to myself,” she growled. “You honestly think he could do something like that? Fuck you, Az.” She shoved him backward and he fell.

“Go back to bed with my sister.” When he didn’t make a move to leave, she shouted, “Go! Get out of here.”

Azriel left her alone on the beach even though everything in him screamed not to, hearing her choke back a sob as he walked away. He felt like shit for even asking.

Elain was sitting up in bed when he returned and she was about to ask where he was but he shook his head. Crawling into his bed, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight. She seemed to pick up on his grey mood, simply entangling her fingers with his and kissing the back of his hand before curling up against his chest.

* * *

Nesta watched the waves lap at the shore, listening to their thundering rhythm. She cried until there was nothing left to cry before standing up with a wobble and heading home. Quickly showering, she threw a change of clothes, her swimsuit, rashguard and phone charger into a duffel bag. Fern mewled sadly as Nesta stopped to kiss the top of her head, seeming to realise that her second-favorite human wasn’t sleeping there tonight.

Strapping her board to the roof rack, Nesta drove off, heading to the only place she knew Cassian wouldn’t go.

In the car, she called him. His phone went straight to voicemail. She didn’t try to leave a message.

Helion’s house was dark but she pounded on the front door anyway. A few minutes later, he opened the door scowling while tying a golden robe. Then his face contorted into confusion as he took her puffy eyes and raw knuckles.

“Nesta? What are you doing here at one in the morning?” Helion guided her inside to the kitchen where he sat her down at the counter and turned to brew tea for both of them. Once the tea was made, he sat down across from her and waited until she spoke.

Taking a deep breath, Nesta gave him the short version of what happened, struggling not to cry. “I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I wanted him to hurt him as badly as he hurt me. Then he left andーand I don’t think he’s coming back.” Her voice cracked and then the dam broke. Helion pulled her into his chest as she sobbed, smoothing her damp hair.

“Now now, my girl. Breathe in, and out. Just breathe. Don’t focus on how much your heart is breaking. Just breathe. Focus on your breath.”

Nesta’s breath shuddered and she choked down a sob. Finally, she could breathe without having to cry. “Thank you,” she murmured.

Helion’s smile was soft and reassuring. “Let’s get you to bed. I know you love him. And I know Cassian. He’ll be back. Now drink this glass of water and follow me.”

* * *

Cassian hated himself. He hated Nesta. He loved her.

He lost her.

“FUCK!” he roared, slamming the steering wheel of his truck. Blinking back tears, he drove onto the beach and parked his truck, cops be damned.

Getting out, he climbed onto the hood of his truck and clutched his knees to his chest, staring out at the endless black water as tears streamed down his cheeks. He was a fucking idiot for leaving.

He loved her. And he walked away, just like his father.

Maybe she was right. Maybe no one could love him.

Finally turning his phone back on, he saw one missed call from Nesta. No voicemail.

_I love you._

_I’m in love with you._

_I fall in love with you over and over every day._

Closing his eyes and leaning back, he chewed the inside of his cheek. Nesta deserved to hear him say it. He wanted to hear her say it back.

He wanted to make love to her as the late morning sun streamed across her bed. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her hand. Brag about how well his girlfriend was doing competing around the world. Propose to her. Cry happy tears as she walked down the aisle. Cry again when she tells him she’s pregnant. Be a father. Teach their kids to surf. Grow old together.

Cassian wanted to spend the rest of his life with Nesta. But he was terrified that he threw it all in the sea when he walked away.


End file.
